On Friday my magazine launched a new serial piece on its blog. The stories we write are related to the themes we’re accepting submissions for. Our current theme is Fairies, Elves, & Dragons. Here’s the problem. I don’t read or write fantasy. No particular reason. I don’t dislike the genre. I just don’t gravitate toward it.
In preparation for this blog post, I spent some time on the Internet trying to figure out how to describe the fairy in this story. I didn’t get that deep into my research before my four-year-old announced she wasn’t going to take a nap, but from what I was able to find, there really wasn’t anything that listed physical characteristics of fairies. That’s a problem. I can look at pictures of Tinker Bell all day long but it won’t translate into writing.
My mind doesn’t work that way. So, I did what every dedicated, hard-working writer would do in my situation. I gave up.
I decided that my fairy wears a tank top, yoga pants, and sneakers. She also doesn’t wear wings.
She does have fairy dust. It comes out of her pores, leaving a mess everywhere. And while this didn’t make it into Friday’s blog, I can tell you that she and her husband have had enough of the constant mess caused by their fairy dust. They’ve been through three cuums —
— a magical device used to clean up fairy dust – in the last month. The expense of replacing these cuums is starting to take a financial toll on them.
After that, I decided that my elf does whatever an elf does during the day —
— but at night – he’s an aspiring performer. Comedy, television commercials, Broadway. Wherever he can get a gig. And then there’s the dragon. She’s a hot mess, suffering from acid reflux and motion sickness. She’s also in therapy. Don’t ask me why. I haven’t figured that out yet.
I had a lot of fun writing this blog but there’s one think I’d really like to know. What’s a fairy supposed to look like? Someone, please tell me.