Dear Ellen: ABC is on my naughty list!

Dear Ellen,

One week before my scheduled c-section, the television network, ABC, broke my heart. Then they ripped it out of my chest, tap-danced on it, poured lemon juice over it, crammed it into a blender and served up super-disgusting margaritas.

Sigh. One week before my c-section I learned that one of my all time favorite television shows was cancelled. I don’t know how I’ll ever survive without The CatchThe television shows centers around the romantic relationship between a fiesty, red-headed, private investigator and a con-artist. The cast was fantastic. The story lines were fantastic. It was one of those really classy shows where everyone tries to kill each other. It was filled with an even combination of suspense and humor.  And, for whatever reason, the executives at ABC decided to pull the plug on this show – my favorite show. I’ve never felt more betrayed. Here I am, a very loyal ABC-Television-Watcher.

And did they even think to notify me? NO! I didn’t get anything from them. No cards, no flowers, nothing! To make matters worse they didn’t even get to the story line I was waiting for. Alice and Ben – the two leads – were fighters. They’re relationship was going to make it. I wasn’t worried about them. But there was another story line I was waiting for. It was the slow-developing romance between Alice’s employees, Danny and Sophie. Their relationship started at the end of season one but then during season two, Danny decided to be a typical male and think with his second head. He started sleeping with Margo who is about as psycho as them come. So now, not only did I not get any cards or flowers from ABC, I’m also left without closure.

In an effort to deal with all of my pain and suffering, I’ve written a letter to ABC telling them exactly how I feel about this. And just because I can, I’ve channeled my inner-Shakespeare. I borrowed a few insults from this website.

Dear Executives at ABC,

You are the rankest compound of villainous smell that ever offended nostril! A group of poisonous bunch-backed toads! Thou art a boil, a plague sore!

You all suck! 

Sincerely,

A. Marie Silver

 

What do you think, Ellen?

Is it too harsh or should I beef things up a bit?

Sincerely,

A. Marie

P.S.

Once upon a time, season one of The Catch was available to watch on Netflix. It’s no longer available. Netflix is on now my naughty list as well. And, just because they love to kick a woman while she’s post partum, Netflix will periodically taunt me with their list of “Exciting T.V.” shows. The Catch was exciting! Why the hell isn’t it there?

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4 thoughts on “Dear Ellen: ABC is on my naughty list!

  1. I’m so amazed that you have time to watch TV – ever – that your children can’t also watch. The Catch doesn’t sound fit for toddlers, so you have to watch when they’re gone or asleep. I didn’t have time for that kind of show until all my kids were in high school and could watch it with me. Kudos for you for finding time!

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