Dear Ellen: ‘Craptacular’ is my new favorite word

Sometimes I write letters to Ellen DeGeneres. No particular reason. Just because I can.

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Sleeping Teddy Photo by A. Marie Silver

Dear Ellen,

February was an awful month.  It started off just fine but then everything went to hell.  First my son got a stomach virus which he so lovingly shared with his sister.  Then it was my turn for a virus. Fortunately I escaped the stomach virus but instead, I was plagued by a horrendous cough – the kind where everyone looks at you like you’re dying. Don’t worry, the cough was only at its absolute worst when I was trying to sleep.

My doctor took pity on me and gave me a cough syrup which did help but not soon enough.  I actually coughed so hard I pulled a muscle over my rib cage – which only hurt when I stood up, sat down, chased toddlers, changed diapers, did the laundry or tried to sleep.  It took two weeks for the cough to go away – just in time for my son to contract another stomach virus. Two days after his symptoms started, my daughter and I both took turns being sick.  And after that, it was my husband’s turn.  I spent the rest of the month feeling fatigued and was so looking forward to the end of February – a craptacular month.

So here we are, March 1st and where am I – cleaning up more stomach virus.  Yes, that’s right, Ellen, my son woke up this morning with another stomach bug. There really should be a statute of limitations for the number of times a stomach virus is allowed to gain access to minors.

Sincerely,

A. Marie

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14 thoughts on “Dear Ellen: ‘Craptacular’ is my new favorite word

  1. It’s hard to “like” this but you made it humorous. I’ve been there!!! One sick kid after another, over and over. Just know, as with everything good and bad and mediocre under the sun, this too shall pass. I hope you all feel better soon and have a much better March than February.

  2. I had a craptacular week. My basement flooded and floors and walls had to be removed. All furniture and knickknacks are in my bedrooms. My dedpendable carpenter is ill and i have to find a new one. Is craptacular a word you created? It says it all.

    1. Nope. Somebody else coined it. But if there were a prize for most craptacular series of events, I’d say you win it for sure! Hope things get better for you!

  3. I wonder if WP would add a Sympathy button to click – maybe if Ellen lobbied for it?
    I was beginning to wonder which rabbit hole you had disappeared down or whether your two savvy kids had managed to legally gag you from posting. Know I know why! Commiserations 🙁

  4. I wonder if there’s a registry for stomach virus offenders so your kids can stay clear of it. Few things worse than a pulled muscle from coughing. I could name them, but I won’t, don’t worry. Try and cheer up, March winds, which we are having today, bring April showers, which we also had today, bring May flowers, which, thank goodness we don’t have those yet as we can have a front up until Memorial Day weekend. That would be a craptacular spring. Yeah, I like that word, too.

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