Dear Ellen: I finally bought it!

Sometimes I write letters to Ellen DeGeneres. No particular reason. Just because I can.

Dear Ellen,

I’ve been hemming and hawing over this purchase for years – and that’s not an exaggeration either.  For years, I would pass by this item, drooling over it while thinking of excuses for buying it until pre-buyer’s remorse would kick in.  What if I buy this and then I don’t use it? What if my husband gets mad at me for buying this?  What if my children feel neglected because they think I love this more than them? Did I remember to put the clothes in the dryer? How long has that chicken nugget been under my desk? – You know – all the typical thoughts someone has when deciding on a major purchase.

So, year after year, I would pass on buying this item – even though I really, really wanted it. And then came last Tuesday, when I discovered I had a legitimate need for this object.  Tuesday was the day I finally broke down and bought this item.

Ellen, it is with extreme pleasure that I would like to introduce you the newest addition to my office staff:

This is Pepper. Photo by A. Marie Silver
This is Pepper.
Photo by A. Marie Silver
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She packs a punch! Photo by A. Marie Silver

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Meet Pepper! Let me tell you something, Ellen.  This girl packs a mean punch!

Sincerely,

A. Marie

***Soundtrack Attribution***

Ba-da-dum.wav

by Simon_Lacelle

Licensed under CC by 3.0

Courtesy of freesound.org

 

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13 thoughts on “Dear Ellen: I finally bought it!

    1. Tell me about. Before I had children, I wouldn’t hesitate spending $300 on a visit to the vet for one of my furbabies. But I’d feel like a horrible person for buying a $30 pair of jeans.

  1. You do realize another office supply item will have to be bought and/or at least named “Salt.” You wouldn’t want to throw off the laws of nature, would you? If you have “Pepper Punch” perhaps “Salt Stapler”…

    1. Excellent point. Stella is my stapler but I’m sure I can find something else to add to my staff and name Salt. There’s always room for more office supplies….at the rate I’m going, I’ll need a larger office.

  2. I had no idea what Pepper was at first, and at second, and even at third. They seem so out dated – Peppers that is. You know they sell paper that’s already made the way Pepper will transform them – and it cleaner. I know from years when I was younger of using Pepper’s relatives.

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