Dear Ellen: I had some free time

Sometimes I write letters to Ellen DeGeneres. No particular reason. Just because I can.

The Sign of Restroom Isolated on White Background Photo by -cbenjasuwan Courtesy of
The Sign of Restroom Isolated on White Background
Photo by -cbenjasuwan
Courtesy of

Dear Ellen,

I had some free time on my hands…you know….when I wasn’t potty training, changing diapers or fighting my two-year-old for the steak knife she stole from the dishwasher. I created a Pinterest board in your honor.  It’s called “Letters to Ellen DeGeneres,” and it’s a collection of all of the letters I’ve written to you.

The thing about Pinterest is that it won’t pin anything unless there’s a picture.  Technically, Pinterest pulled my profile picture for pinning purposes but let’s face it, Ellen, nobody wants to stare at 40ish pictures of my face.  So, to make it work, I went through a collection of photos I’ve taken over the years and put them into each of the letters I wrote to you.  There were three rules I applied when doing this. Rule number 1: the more ridiculous the photo, the better.  Rule number 2: if I can’t find a ridiculous picture, then the caption has to be ridiculous. Rule number 3: if I’m using someone else’s photo that requires attribution, leave the caption alone, otherwise it will never end.

The good news is, I’ve collected all of these mostly ridiculous photos and put them into a Pinterest board so you won’t have to scroll through all of my blog posts to see them. The bad news is that when I was pinning these pictures their captions weren’t captured.  So if you want to read any of the ridiculous captions, you’ll have to go into each letter .  Or, you can just stop by and read my future letters.

Follow A. Marie’s board Letters to Ellen DeGeneres on Pinterest.

Of course, Ellen, if you really wanted to make me happy, you could try responding to one of my letters.  I know you’re busy with your own stuff, but it would make my day if you stopped by and said “hi.”


A. Marie

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12 thoughts on “Dear Ellen: I had some free time

  1. What did you have when you were fighting your two-year-old for the steak knife? I only ask because I’m trying to picture the scene in my mind and it all sounds rather swashbuckling (if a little dangerous, knives being sharp and pointy).

      1. I’m glad it was that way round, though. It would’ve been a lot scarier if she’d been chasing everybody else around while holding the knife.

        I used to have a terrible time trying to keep scissors out of the hands of my boys when they were small, so I have a lot of sympathy

  2. Fortunately neither of my children were into weapons of any kind when they were young. As in brandishing them at others. Although I do remember my oldest son persuading his younger brother to put his hand between the rollers of a HUGE old fashioned mangel and then turning the handle. No bones were broken but he screamed for hours!

  3. Yes. They both remember it vividly 🙂
    I have another blog you might like to check out. It’s kids stories – mad objects (like mirrors, flip flops, bananas etc etc) having conversations. It’s quirky. It’s sort of a bit Harry Potterish, which is kinda interesting as the name of the guy on the blog is harrypoggins. May not be his real name of course.

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