Dear Ellen: I’m a resourceful problem solver

Sometimes I write letters to Ellen DeGeneres. No particular reason. Just because I can.

Space dogs! Every blog should have them! Photo by A. Marie Silver

Dear Ellen,

After taking my kids to their morning gym class, I planned on taking a little drive to scout out the location of an appointment I have tomorrow.  I loaded the two toddlers up into my car and then had a horrible thought.  “Did I remember to tell my husband to take the GPS out of his car and put it into mine?” I checked the center console.  Nope.  I was already running late, so going back into the house to print the directions wasn’t an option. And as I’ve mentioned before, I have a talent for getting lost. So I really needed the directions. Fortunately, I’m a resourceful problem solver – because that’s what it says on my resume, so it must be true.

During one of the free periods of gym, I approached one of the instructors, Mr. Lawrence.

“Hey Mr. Lawrence,” I said. “I have an unusual favor to ask of you.”

“What’s that?” he asked, raising his eyebrows.

“My husband and I got last minute tickets to attend a seminar on the 7 virtues of the vagina and we need a babysitter. Can you help us out?”

Poor guy.  His face flushed and he released a nervous laugh.

“I’m just kidding,” I said, smiling. “There’s no seminar.  My husband walked out of the house with our GPS system and I have some place I need to be.  If I gave you the address, could you please print me directions?”

“Absolutely!” he said with a great deal of relief.

Here’s the thing, Ellen, I’m not sure what disturbed him more – babysitting my kids or the fictional seminar I told him my husband and I were attending.

What do you think?


A. Marie

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