Dear Ellen: Is anyone out there?

Sometimes I write letters to Ellen DeGeneres. No particular reason. Just because I can.

Skull & Crossbones Photo by A. Marie Silver This photo doesn't belong here.
Skull & Crossbones
Photo by A. Marie Silver
This photo doesn’t belong here.

Dear Ellen,

I sincerely hope you and Portia had a fantastic Christmas!  I certainly did.  In addition to watching my kids ignore their toys and fall asleep in a pile of wrapping paper, I was on the receiving end of one of the best presents ever.  I got dot-commed for Christmas.  Yes, that’s right! My husband purchased a domain for me. It’s  Do you know what that means? It means I can customize my website now!  No more vomit-yellow font! I never liked that font color.  Mostly because the last thing I wanted was for people to think of vomit when they read my blog.  But also because, it was a hard font to read.

I must say, Ellen, transferring my free WordPress account to the paid WordPress account wasn’t as easy as I thought it would be.  Nobody tells you that your followers don’t automatically get transferred to your paid account.  I had to Google how to do that and even now, I’m not sure I did it right.  What if I lost all of my followers? What if they’re at my old blog, waiting for me to write something and I never show up?  What if my husband expects me to cook dinner tonight? I have all these worries floating through my head and the scariest part is, there’s only one way to find out.  Guess I’ll have to post something and then pray I didn’t muck anything up during the crossover.

In case I haven’t mentioned it, I have a knack for screwing the easiest stuff up.  As of this very moment, I can smell the microwavable cheese burning inside the microwave. Speaking of which – do you know how to spell microwaveable? Is there an ‘E’?  No matter what I do spell check yells at me, so I’m writing it using two different spellings.

Anywho (yes I meant to spell it that way), I’m really excited for all the things this year will bring.  I have a lot planned in 2016, Ellen: dancing drunk on a bar table with elves is one. Finishing my book is the other. Oh what the heck…learning the correct spelling for microwavable will also make my list of things to accomplish in 2016.


A. Marie

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