Dear Ellen: It’s an Ingenious Idea!

Sometimes I write letters to Ellen DeGeneres. No particular reason. Just because I can.

Dear Ellen,

I’ve been following the FBI’s battle with Apple over trying to hack into a known terrorist’s cell phone. And I have to admit, this is a bit of a sticky wicket. I’m all for hacking into cell phones if it stops terrorists from killing people and gets pedophiles off the street, but I’m also a little nervous about what would happen if this ability to weaken Apple’s security measures fell into the wrong hands.

And then it occurred to me.  There’s a solution. A way for the FBI to break into Apple’s phones without forcing anyone to develop software that would compromise their security.

First, gather up all the cell phones that need hacking.

Second, place said cell phones into a large conference room.

Third, fill the conference room with a bunch of four and five-year-old kids.

Four, walk away and come back ten minutes later. Not only will all of the cell phones be hacked but the kids, given their age, will probably not remember how they got into the phone. Thus, there’s no need to create software that will compromise the integrity of Apple’s security measures.

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Courtesy of

Kids are scary smart, Ellen.  My three-year-old taught me how to use my iPad and my cell phone. There is no doubt in my mind that if you leave any device with a toddler or Pre-Kindergartner, they’ll figure it out six times faster than an adult.


A. Marie

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4 thoughts on “Dear Ellen: It’s an Ingenious Idea!

  1. What a great idea ! Maybe they could also step into the WHite House and take over governance of America. After all, they will have learnt all the important lessons of life in kindergarten and could put them in practise 🙂

  2. Ha! A. Marie, how right you are! My youngest is two and it astounds me how he can navigate around my iPad and do things that I never knew were possible. I think this is an excellent solution and should be implemented immediately!

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