Dear Ellen: It’s time they learn!

Sometimes I write letters to Ellen DeGeneres. No particular reason. Just because I can.

Duplo Police Officer
Duplo Police Officer

Dear Ellen,

My children spend a lot of time watching me fold their laundry and put it away.  One evening, I told my two-year old that in the very near future it would be up to her and her brother to put their own clothes away.

The next day, I overheard them having the following the conversation about this topic.

Baby Girl: It was most disturbing, Brother.  Momma actually wants us to organize our own belongings.

Baby Boy: I couldn’t disagree with you more, Sissy.  I actually believe it would be in our best interest to put our own belongings away.  That way, we’ll put them where we think they should go. Did you know that for nearly two years, Momma put my socks and pajamas in the wrong drawer?  It nearly drove me nuts.

Baby Girl: She did? Where were they supposed to go?

Baby Boy: The socks were supposed to go inside of the right drawer and the pajamas were supposed to go inside of the left drawer.  Momma had everything all reversed.

Baby Girl: How did you correct her behavior?

Baby Boy: One day, as I watched  – with great aggravation – Momma putting my clothes away, I reached up and pointed to the right drawer and said, “Socks!” Momma then understood and immediately switched the contents of the drawers, rectifying the situation. So you see, Sissy, putting our own items away might be for the best.

Baby Girl: It’s certainly something to ponder. However, I must say I do foresee a problem with this.

Baby Boy: What?

Baby Girl: For the past several months I’ve been trying to store my Duplo people inside of the refrigerator.  Momma continuously relocates them to the toy box in the living room despite my protests.

Baby Boy: Try placing them inside the cupboard with the cleaning supplies.  She only goes in there when company is coming over so she isn’t likely to notice them.

Baby Girl: A most excellent suggestion, Brother. I shall try that.

For the record, Ellen, I resent that last comment. I go into that cupboard more often than they realize. It’s just that – well – by the time I get done putting away the toys they shove in there, I forget why I was in there to begin with and move on with something else.


A. Marie


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5 thoughts on “Dear Ellen: It’s time they learn!

  1. I went so far as to label, with a magic marker, the front of each drawer with what the contents were supposed to be, so there would be no mistakes made. Thank goodness it was an old (not antique) and cheap (painted pine) chest of drawers. My mother laughed when she saw what I had done. I did it for my benefit so I’d remember what was where since I didn’t put my clothes away. It worked. Do you have any magic markers? Is your chest of drawers nice or naughty (not nice)? It’s only a suggestion.

  2. Good luck with that! My youngest is 22 and uses the washing line as his wardrobe. My oldest is 28 and uses the floor as his. I just close my eyes when I walk past their rooms, and shut the doors when we have visitors. It is their domain and I have no right of entry. Nor would I want it! It’sdangerous territory 🙁

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