Dear Ellen: Live, Local, Late-Breaking

Sometimes I write letters to Ellen DeGeneres. No particular reason. Just because I can.

DSCN3768Dear Ellen,

Live, Local, Late-Breaking! This is a special news bulletin!  If you live anywhere near D.C, Maryland, Virginia, and Pennsylvania, there is a 98% chance it’s really cold outside.

Did you miss out on your chance to bond with Frosty the Snowman over Christmas? Fear not! There’s a 150% chance you’ll have that opportunity sometime this weekend, if you’re living in any of the above-mentioned states….and probably in other states too!

Temperatures are expected to drop over the weekend.  Please remember to let your furry friends inside and have all the essentials stocked in your fridge: Wine, Beer, Vodka and Bourbon. Oh….food and nonalcoholic beverages might come in handy as well too. But I’ll let you decide that.

This has been a special news bulletin.

Sincerely,

A. Marie Silver

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14 thoughts on “Dear Ellen: Live, Local, Late-Breaking

  1. Snow at Christmas time, OK. Snow thereafter, not required or desired. Especially a couple of feet of it. I will admit we had a wonderful winter up until now and eventually this run of good luck and mellow temps was going to end, but we didn’t need to go all the way to the other extreme. Ellen should give everyone in the area a brand new truck with a snow plow. It’s the least she could do for all her loyal viewers (i.e. ratings) in the mid-Atlantic region.

      1. You’re right. Let’s guilt Ellen into one of those also. We have the highest numbers of potential viewing audience in the whole country in the midst of this storm. We have leverage.

  2. Unfortunately, this snow storm missed most of New England – we are desperate for snow. My ski house reunion this weekend was only fair – awesome because I got to see all my friends; poor because of the snow conditions on the mountain. And Ollie decided to skip his blog post this weekend since he’s not happy about this – besides, he has pneumonia – so it’s just as well we missed the snow.

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