Sometimes I write letters to Ellen DeGeneres. No particular reason. Just because I can.
Today was an adventurous day for me. I went to the grocery store. And, because I love living on the edge – of insanity – I took my toddlers with me. Baby Boy sat in the car that’s attached to the front of the cart. Baby Girl sat up front in the shopping cart. Baby Boy was as happy as could be, turning his steering wheel around and around. Baby Girl was not a happy camper. She wanted to
run around the store, grabbing items off of shelves and tossing them onto the floor walk beside the shopping cart. To punish me for my extreme insensitivity and cruelty, she voiced her discontent, as loud as she could.
As a parent, I’ve come to realize that the people who are the biggest eye-rollers and complainers when it comes to public temper tantrums are parents. That’s right, Ellen. The people who gave me dirty, judgmental looks as I pushed my kids around in the shopping cart were other parents. Apparently their kids are special. Somehow they managed to bypass the public temper tantrum stage completely. I think those parents should write handbooks for the rest of us.
But here’s the thing, Ellen. My daughter is talented. Not only was she expressing her extreme displeasure at being held captive inside the shopping cart; she was also testing out her voice, using every octave available. To these hypocrites with kids, she was annoying and I was being a bad parent. To me, my child is a future opera singer with the ability to crack glass using her voice. That’s a hell of party trick.
Do your kids have any special talents? If so, please share them in the comments!