Dear Ellen: Resolutions are like fireworks

Sometimes I write letters to Ellen DeGeneres. No particular reason. Just because I can.

Photo courtesy of
Photo courtesy of

Dear Ellen,

I gave up making resolutions a long time ago. They’re just too much like fireworks.  I get really excited when making my resolutions.  I stick to them for maybe a week a day and a half, and then I watch as they fizzle away. Then I spend the rest of the year completely forgetting I made resolutions – until December rolls around, at which point, I remember the old resolutions I didn’t accomplish and feel like a huge failure. So this year, I’ve compiled a short list of ridiculous resolutions that are impossible to accomplish in 12 months. It’ll give me something to laugh about in December.

  1. Become a New York Times best-selling author – Maybe someday this will happen but not this year.  That would require me to finish my novel first and at the moment, I’ve been enslaved by a mafia lawyer who believes his story should come first.
  2. Clean my house.
  3. Put laundry away – After I wash it. Not before – which I’ve done sometimes just make it look like I did something around the house. (Is that weird?  If so, forget I mentioned it.)
  4. Learn how to cook – something other than burnt macaroni & cheese.
  5. Think of resolutions that are more entertaining than these.

That’s all for now, Ellen.  I hope your New Year went well.


A. Marie

I must admit that one of my favorite things to do is read other blogs! Love, Love, Love! But, in the spirit of Short Circuit,

Photo courtesy of Imgur
Photo courtesy of Imgur



photo blogs and well…pretty much any blog that’s entertaining. If you know of any blogs you think I might be interested in, please share the info in the comments. Or, let your blogging friends know that I’m looking for them….in a harmless way….not a psycho kind of way. Happy New Year, everyone! Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go pretend I’m cleaning a toilet.

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18 thoughts on “Dear Ellen: Resolutions are like fireworks

  1. Nice resolutions, I can totally relate. I must say the laundry one is new to me 🙂
    Have a look at this site. It’s quirky, funny, fascinating how it came about. It’s written by a cat about a cat’s world view 🙂

    This one is very funny, including his name which is BunKaryudo, His head is covered by a paper bag

    This is a comedy travel blog by written by two lesbians

    This is a cooking blog for kids. Recipes based on fairy tales

    This guy writes fifty word stories. Very clever

    That should keep you busy for a while! Enjoy. Oh, and have a Happy New Year 🙂

  2. Just want to wish you Happy New Year and let you know that I enjoy your blog. I am no longer writing on the previous blog, but have just followed you on my primary blog. I’m looking forward to reading your stories in 2016.

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