Dear Ellen: Sleep Deprivation Sucks

I write letters to Ellen DeGeneres. No particular reason. Just because I can.

Dear Ellen,

The kids are playing in the basement. Husband is snoring on the futon and the newborn (A.K.A. millennial #3) is asleep in the pack ‘n play. I’ll have to make this quick!

This morning my husband dropped me off at Target so I could buy more diapers for the baby. I grabbed the box of diapers, paid the cashier and loaded the diapers into the minivan. As my husband pulled out of the parking lot I had a Jean-Luc-Picard-face-palm moment.

Me: “Oh my god! I didn’t get diapers for the Millennial #3!”

Husband: What do you mean? What was the box you put in the car?

Me: Nighttime diapers for the older kids.

Husband: I thought the whole point was to get diapers for the baby.

Me: (massaging my temples as I sighed.) It was.

Husband: So why did you buy diapers for Bobo and Baby Girl?

Me: Autopilot.

Husband: Autopilot?

Me: Yup. I’ve been buying diapers for Bobo and Baby Girl a whole lot longer than I have Millennial #3.

Sigh. Well, Ellen, this wasn’t anywhere near as bad as the other morning when I put garlic powder in my coffee because I mistook it for sweetener. Sleep deprivation sucks!

Sincerely,

A. Marie

P.S.

Ellen, if my mom asks, please let her know I’m still working on the blog post we’ve been talking about. I need longer than five minutes to write it.

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3 thoughts on “Dear Ellen: Sleep Deprivation Sucks

  1. Sleep deprivation. Oh yeh. Many memories of 35/40+ years ago (nothing like travelling 20 miles standing up in the aisle of a bus dozing with your hand wrapped about a passenger strap- as a man I could get away with that sort of thing back in the 1970s). You have our sympathies and best wishes.

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