Sometimes I write letters to Ellen DeGeneres. No particular reason. Just because I can.
The talking toddlers have struck again. Their conversation took place right after a shopping trip this evening. Here’s what they said.
Baby Girl: What are you doing with your new shoes, Brother?
Baby Boy: Hiding them. They’re hideous and I’m NOT wearing them.
Baby Girl: Ah. I see you’re dilemma however I’m not sure hiding them inside the refrigerator is a good idea. Momma is sure to find them in there when she goes to get the milk for our cereal.
Baby Boy: Excellent critique, Sissy. I’ll hide them in my laundry hamper instead.
Baby Girl: Just curious, Brother, why don’t you like your new shoes? I heard Momma and Daddy asking you which pair you wanted. Didn’t you advise them not to purchase those shoes?
Baby Boy: I thought I had, Sissy. The shoes I preferred were the red Spiderman shoes. However, there was a four-year-old with pigtails in the next aisle over, so I was a little distracted. Apparently Momma and Daddy grew frustrated and chose for me.
Baby Girl: My goodness, Brother. A little girl with pigtails? Are you planning on courting her?
Baby Boy: No. I was trying to assess the best approach to use when charming her out of her Oreo cookies.
Baby Girl: Double Stuf or original?
Baby Boy: Does it matter, Sissy. A cookie is a cookie.
Baby Girl: That is quite true. So….who are the characters on your new shoes?
Baby Boy: I’m not sure, Sissy. But I heard Momma and Daddy both ask me if I felt the power of the Force when I wore them.
Baby Girl: And do you?
Baby Boy: I’m not sure what they mean by the force, Sissy. I feel the force of gravity, that is for certain.
Baby Girl: Brother, instead of hiding your shoes inside of your laundry hamper, might I suggest an alternative?
Baby Boy: What do you recommend?
Baby Girl: Let’s try flushing them down the commode.
Ellen, have you seen my plunger?