Dear Ellen: The Force wins by default!

Sometimes I write letters to Ellen DeGeneres. No particular reason. Just because I can.

I'm out of quirky captions.
I’m out of quirky captions.

Dear Ellen,

The talking toddlers have struck again. Their conversation took place right after a shopping trip this evening. Here’s what they said.

Baby Girl:  What are you doing with your new shoes, Brother?

Baby Boy: Hiding them.  They’re hideous and I’m NOT wearing them.

Baby Girl:  Ah.  I see you’re dilemma however I’m not sure hiding them inside the refrigerator is a good idea. Momma is sure to find them in there when she goes to get the milk for our cereal.

Baby Boy: Excellent critique, Sissy. I’ll hide them in my laundry hamper instead.

Baby Girl: Just curious, Brother, why don’t you like your new shoes? I heard Momma and Daddy asking you which pair you wanted. Didn’t you advise them not to purchase those shoes?

Baby Boy: I thought I had, Sissy.  The shoes I preferred were the red Spiderman shoes. However, there was a four-year-old with pigtails in the next aisle over, so I was a little distracted. Apparently Momma and Daddy grew frustrated and chose for me.

Baby Girl:  My goodness, Brother. A little girl with pigtails? Are you planning on courting her?

Baby Boy: No.  I was trying to assess the best approach to use when charming her out of her Oreo cookies.

Baby Girl:  Double Stuf or original?

Baby Boy: Does it matter, Sissy.  A cookie is a cookie.

Baby Girl:  That is quite true.  So….who are the characters on your new shoes?

Baby Boy: I’m not sure, Sissy.  But I heard Momma and Daddy both ask me if I felt the power of the Force when I wore them.

Baby Girl: And do you?

Baby Boy: I’m not sure what they mean by the force, Sissy.  I feel the force of gravity, that is for certain.

Baby Girl:  Brother, instead of hiding your shoes inside of your laundry hamper, might I suggest an alternative?

Baby Boy: What do you recommend?

Baby Girl:  Let’s try flushing them down the commode.

Ellen, have you seen my plunger?


A. Marie

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3 thoughts on “Dear Ellen: The Force wins by default!

  1. I have a plunger you can borrow. Ellen asked me to let you know that. Of course, it’s red and white striped, like a candy cane, so you’ll have to keep it away from your children. You don’t want them licking it.

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