Dear Ellen: The problem with technology is…

Sometimes I write letters to Ellen DeGeneres. No particular reason. Just because I can.

Dear Ellen,

My curling iron hates me. I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, “curling irons can’t hate people, A. Marie, they’re inanimate objects.”

photo courtesy of
photo courtesy of

But the thing is, Suzy – my curling iron – does, in fact hate me.  Just the other day, I turned her on to let her warm up and then left the bathroom so that I could simultaneously fight the four-year-old onto the toilet while dressing the two-year-old. It was just a normal day at my house.

When I was done (I felt like I needed a shower from that workout) I went back into the bathroom so I could begin curling my hair.  But upon closer inspection, my fancy curling iron was off.  Why? Because it comes with one of those automatic shut-off features – which is really nice if you forget to turn it off.  But in my case, I needed it to be on.

Frustrated, I turned the curling iron back on and then went downstairs to bring up the laundry. I’m not sure why I felt the need to bring the laundry up.  It had only been in the basement for a month. A few more days wouldn’t have hurt it.  I lugged the laundry up to the second floor of the house, set it on the bed, told my kids to stop killing each other and then went back into the bathroom to use the curling iron – which, once again, was off….and cold.  The cold temperature was a bit of a concern because even if the automatic shut-off feature turned the iron off, I’d still expect the curling iron to feel somewhat warm.

“Great,” I thought. “I just bought this thing and it’s already broken.” Curling irons aren’t cheap…well…at least those worth buying aren’t. So I picked up the curling iron and felt the cord drop to the ground. And that’s when all of the light bulbs went on inside of my head.

Ellen, the problem with technology is that it generally requires some kind of power source before it can work. In this case, Suzy wasn’t plugged in.  Oops.


A. Marie

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