Diary of a Cranky Cat – Mommy Got Preverted!!!

Dear Diary,

Something horrible and awful happened to Momma and one of her friends. They got preverted!!!! I know what you’re thinking. You’re probably wondering what preverted means. Well, I’ll tell you. preverted is something awful that happens. For example, when someone knocks on the door or rings the door bell, that’s preverting. When the Little Thing looks at me, that’s preverting. When the minion cries, that’s preverting. When Momma misspells something on my blog, that’s preverting.

As you can see by these examples it really doesn’t take much to be preverted. Poor Momma and her friend got preverted. That’s horrible and awful. And I WON’T STAND FOR THAT!!!! Nobody preverts MY MOMMA!!!!

I tell you what I’m gonna do. I’m gonna track down those preverts and when I find them I’m gonna poop in their litter boxes. Yes that’s right! I’m gonna get into Momma’s beans and then I’m gonna unload a massive, stinky, poop. Then I’m going to gather all of their puff balls and brainwash them. After that I’m gonna take a nap because I’m a cat and strenuous activity really isn’t in my nature. I’m a sedentary creature of sorts.

Poor Momma. Last night I sat behind her head and rubbed her shoulders for a long time. She scratched my ears and told me that everything was going to be all right and that she and her friend were already on to bigger and better things and everything that happened really was for the best. That’s really nice of her to say but I’m a cat, forgiveness isn’t in my nature. I’m glad Momma is moving on but I plan on holding a grudge…..FOREVER!!!

This is Gwennie – Signing off!

Gwennie

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