Fifty Shades of Grey (Chapters 10 – 17)

In case you’re wondering what happened to chapter 9.  It’s there, I just didn’t comment on it.

Chapter 10

Mr. Grey was 15 years old when he became a submissive to a much older woman.  Their relationship ended when her husband found out – Oops!  He and his dominate still remain in touch and have a strictly professional relationship.

Ana is outraged to learn that Mr. Grey was practically abused by this older woman.  After all he was only a minor when he began having this sexually explicit relationship with this much older woman and that is just horrifying in nature.

Personally, I think the non-disclosure agreement and sex contract are more horrifying than a horny teenager sowing his wild oats but that’s just me.

Chapter 11

The details of the contract are revealed.  OH       MY       GOD!

What kind of sick bastard would draft something like this?  What kind of sick bastard would agree to something like this?   If you guessed our two main characters, you’re correct!

Skim. Skim. Skim.  We get to the section on safe words!  Safe words!  Safe words?  Really?  Safe words?

Turn page. Turn page. Turn page.

More gifts start arriving.  Little Miss Thing has homework to do.  The former virgin has to research kinky sex and find out what she believes she’ll like and dislike.  But, she signed a non-disclosure agreement which means she can’t ask her roommate about anything.  So, Mr. Grey purchased a Mac Book Pro for her to use so that she can get on the Internet and look up sex stuff.

This is where the book gets entertaining for me.  The email banter between Mr. Grey and Ana is most entertaining.  If you haven’t read the book yet pay attention to the subject headings and the closings. Flirtatious comments are often found in those fields.

Chapter 12

They have more sex.  She has more orgasms.  It’s all very interesting.

Can someone please tell me what “sex hair” is?  I’ve heard of “bed head” but not “sex hair.”  Ana is constantly drooling over Mr. Grey’s sex hair and, at the same time, whining about how her sex hair is a disaster.

Whenever I read that Mr. Grey has perfect sex hair I envision a man with really short hair who never has to comb it.  Whenever I read about Ana’s sex hair I envision a woman with long hair that is standing upright like she was electrically shocked.

Near the end of the chapter Mr. Grey sees Ana’s car and decides that it’s a death trap.  I see where this is going.  First an expensive collection of 1st edition books, then a Mac Book Pro.  What are the odds that he buys her a car?

Chapter 15

They have sex again.

I love how she keeps referring to her subconscious as her “Inner Goddess”.  This girl is supposed to be very insecure and yet she refers to her subconscious as her “Inner Goddess.”  Oh well, I generally refer to my subconscious as “fat girl with a bad attitude.”

Turn page. Turn page. Turn page.  They have sex again.  She has another orgasm.  He buys her a car.  There’s a shocker!

Chapter 16

He asks her about her period.

Wait.  What?  He asks her about her period?  Rude, much?

They have sex again.  She has another orgasm.

Turn page. Turn page. Turn page.

Chapter 17

He buys her a Blackberry so that he always has a way to reach her.  Well isn’t that special.

So let’s recap:  Hot, Skinny Minny who has orgasms every single time she has sex with an equally hot gazillionaire who buys her a car, a Blackberry, a Mac Book Pro and an expensive collection of books.

I could care less about the car, the books and even the orgasms but as far as the Blackberry and Mac Book Pro go; it’s official, I HATE HER!!!

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