Just Plain Creepy

Today’s topic is dedicated to three traditions that creep the crap out of me.

The Tooth Fairy

A winged woman wearing a tutu who flies into the bedrooms of small children at night, collecting their teeth in exchange for money. Really? Why is this a thing? And what’s with the money? Why do parents have to give their kids $5 for a single tooth? We feed them, clothe them, educate them and wipe their butts. They should pay us for taking their teeth.

Birthday Clowns

Usually grown men dressed in bright-colored costumes who are wearing way too much concealer and painted facial expressions that are scary.

Stephen King had it right with clowns. They belong in sewers not in the circus and definitely not at birthday parties.

The Easter Bunny

A rabbit who is the size of an adult – either from ingesting steroids or from hopping through the same green ooze that created the teenage mutant ninja turtles.

Regardless, this giant rabbit hops into homes after the kids go to sleep and leaves them a basket filled with candy. I smell a conspiracy. Perhaps the tooth fairy has the Easter bunny on her payroll? Think about it for a minute: candy causes tooth decay. Tooth decay can cause your teeth to fall out. Coincidence? You be the judge!

 

Calling all writers! Are there any traditions that creep you out? Tell me about them in the comments.

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5 thoughts on “Just Plain Creepy

      1. Jimmy Stewart is hilarious in this role. His comedic timing is priceless. He was one of the best old time actors. BTW I see the Tooth Fairy has raised her fee. When I was a kid in the 1960s I only got paid a dime or maybe if she was feeling especially generous a quarter!! LOL!!

  1. Jesus on the cross – what’s that about? Creeps me out. Oh, yeah, today is Easter – the whole rising from the dead, Zombie apocalypse thing going on. If that doesn’t creep you out, nothing will.

    An old, fat man with white hair and white beard coming into my home by dropping down my chimney with a HUGE red bag full of, what, toys? Who came up with that idea? Creeps me out. His getting stuck, the toys stuck, and they all get burned up by the fire down below – like hell or something. Get away from me!

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