Today’s topic is dedicated to three traditions that creep the crap out of me.
The Tooth Fairy
A winged woman wearing a tutu who flies into the bedrooms of small children at night, collecting their teeth in exchange for money. Really? Why is this a thing? And what’s with the money? Why do parents have to give their kids $5 for a single tooth? We feed them, clothe them, educate them and wipe their butts. They should pay us for taking their teeth.
Usually grown men dressed in bright-colored costumes who are wearing way too much concealer and painted facial expressions that are scary.
Stephen King had it right with clowns. They belong in sewers not in the circus and definitely not at birthday parties.
The Easter Bunny
A rabbit who is the size of an adult – either from ingesting steroids or from hopping through the same green ooze that created the teenage mutant ninja turtles.
Regardless, this giant rabbit hops into homes after the kids go to sleep and leaves them a basket filled with candy. I smell a conspiracy. Perhaps the tooth fairy has the Easter bunny on her payroll? Think about it for a minute: candy causes tooth decay. Tooth decay can cause your teeth to fall out. Coincidence? You be the judge!
Calling all writers! Are there any traditions that creep you out? Tell me about them in the comments.