Misadventures in Editing: Potty Talk

Ever wondered what a writer goes through when editing a work-in-progress?  Here’s your chance to find out.  Take a look at some of the conversations I’ve had with my characters while editing my current novel. If something like this has ever happened to you, please tell me in the comments.

I'm a little teapot! Photo by A. Marie Silver
I’m a little teapot!
Photo by A. Marie Silver

“Please come out,” Celeste whined while tapping on the door with the tips of her shiny, red acrylics. “It’s not the end of the world.”

Amethyst opened the door.  Her face was flushed and a tear was dangling from the tip of her nose. “How can you say that?” She wiped her nose with her sleeve and sniffled. “Daniel was the love of my life and now he’s gone. Forever!” She buried her head inside her hands, sobbing uncontrollably.

“Well,” Celeste began, “That’s what happens when stories are edited.  A few taps on the backspace key and characters tend to disappear.”

Amethyst jerked her head up. Her face was filled with disgust. “How can you say that?” She jumped back into the bathroom, slamming the door. “You’re awful!”

Celeste rolled her eyes.  “Oh for the love of spambots! You only went on one date with him before for A. Marie stopped working on that draft.  It wasn’t true love! It was fictional!”

“I hate you!” Amethyst’s words sounded mumbled as they traveled through the bathroom door.

I left the safety of the corner I had been crouched in for the last ten minutes. Setting aside my notes and scene cards, I pushed myself up on my sleeping legs and then braced for the pins and needles effect. “Ooh!” I cringed.  There’s nothing worse than the pins and needles effect.

Celeste looked over her shoulder as I hobbled toward her.  “Well it’s about time you joined in.” She threw her hands up in the air. “I don’t know what else I can say to her.”

I patted Celeste on the shoulder. “I got this.”

“I doubt it,” she muttered as she plopped into one of the chairs.

“Amethyst. It’s A. Marie.”

“Go away!”

Clearly she wasn’t going to make this easy on me.  “I can’t bring Daniel back into the novel.  Get over it. We have work to do.”

The door flew open.  Amethyst’s once sorrowful eyes were now filled with rage.  “You call that a pep talk?”

“No.” I shook my head. “But I’m on a deadline and I don’t have time for this. Get your butt out here and let’s get to work.”

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