My Not-So-Secret Celebrity Crush

I write letters to Ellen DeGeneres. No particular reason. Just because I can.

Dear Ellen,

I’ve been working on this blog since November of last year. Last. Year. Why? Because I’m trying to write about my celebrity crush, Jay Hayden, without sounding creepy or stalkery.

But no matter what I write, it comes out creepy and stalkery. So here I am, owning it. Ellen, it’s both creepy and stalkery. I sincerely hope it doesn’t traumatize you or Jay Hayden. But since there isn’t a chance in Hell that he’d ever read this, I’m not going to worry about it.

Since it’s now February, I’m dedicating this obsession love story to Valentine’s day. It’s inspired by three of my favorite romantic comedies from the 1990s.





My celebrity crush with Jay Hayden began when my mother introduced me to The Catch on ABC. So really, this is all her fault.

I loved this show. I loved Jay Hayden on this show.





And then it was canceled. The last episode aired one week before my scheduled c-section, last May.


Feel free to read my reaction to that news here.

Fortunately, my mother saved the day. She introduced me to one of his earlier television appearances – a Hulu original called Battleground. Unfortunately, that show was cancelled after one season. It took less than a week for me to binge-watch my way through and once again, I was left without Jay Hayden.

To recap: I spent last summer postpartum, sleep-deprived and recovering from a C-Section with an infant because the doctors made us take her home and two older kids who are aspiring stunt doubles. What I’m about to tell you next might really sound disturbing so I want to make absolutely certain every one reading this knows I wasn’t of sound mind.

Oh gosh. I’m really embarrassed to admit this next part. Mostly because I’m pushing 40 and Jay looks like he’s 12 which makes me a total cougar and I’m not okay with that.


Okay. With no other television shows or movies to watch, I began looking for Jay on the Internet. And, I found him on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook. I actually found two accounts for Jay on Facebook: his personal profile and his business page. I thought very briefly about sending him a friend request but fortunately I stopped myself. How crazy would that be? On what planet would he ever accept a friend request from me? I settled for “liking” his Facebook page and following him on Instagram and Twitter. I gotta say it, I feel all cyberstalkery now.

Especially because his stuff never shows up in any of my feeds so I manually search for him on all accounts to see what he’s posted, every. Single. Day – on a very rare basis – do a manual search to see if he’s posted anything new.

That’s actually how I learned he was cast in a new television show on Fox called Seal Team.

Spoiler Alert! If you’re not caught up with Seal Team you might want to stop reading because I’m giving away a major plot line…..plot secret?…..I’m about to give something away.

After waiting several weeks for the show to air, I was finally reconnected with my favorite television hottie. The show itself was okay but my only interest was Jay….because I’m apparently psycho.


But I digress. So everything is going well for four or five episodes. He’s not getting much screen time but he’s there and I’m getting my fix. And then it happened. His character was killed off.


FOX is now on my naughty list with ABC.

That was the last time I watched Seal Team. No offense to the rest of the cast. Like I said, the show itself was okay. It’s just that my only reason for watching it died early in the season.

I gave up. I decided to focus all of my attention on my favorite Shondaland shows like Grey’s Anatomy. There were rumors that Grey’s Anatomy was going to have a spin-off show and I couldn’t wait to find out.

Then the spin-off show was actually confirmed. I jumped into action, scouring the Internet for details on the show. What’s the name? What’s it about? I was in desperate need of something else to cyber-stalk. The only problem was, the show didn’t have a name. This no-name nonsense went on for months.

How in the heck am I supposed to cyber-stalk this television show if I don’t know the name of it? This is a real-world problem, Ellen!

I was about to lose my mind. And then it happened. Shondaland announced the name and the cast of the series. And guess who has a role in it.


That’s right! Jay Hayden.

So on March 22nd, I will be unavailable. I will not be manhandling tantrums, changing diapers, or wiping butts. I will be watching the series premiere of Station 19 on ABC and getting my eye-candy fix. I don’t care what happens. The house could catch on fire. The basement could flood. Killer bees could move in. I’m. Not. Available!


Below is the trailer for Station 19 – in case you’re curious about the show. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that this show isn’t cancelled and that Jay Hayden’s character doesn’t bite the dust.



A. Marie

Calling all readers! Do you have a celebrity crush? Tell me who it is in the comments!

Sharing is caring!

Leave a Reply