‘Twas The Night Before Christmas (Gwennie’s Version)

‘Twas The Night Before Christmas

***Original poem by Clement Clarke Moore***

Recited by Gwendolynn Anne Marie Stefanie Collins Silver – Supervisory Cat-in-Charge

‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse (That’s a real shame.  I hear mice taste just like chicken).

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care (out of my reach, as if I really care.)

The Little Thing was nestled, all snug in his cage crib, while visions of bottles danced in his head.  And Momma in her blue-hooded Navy sweatshirt (because that’s all she ever wears) and Boy-Dadda in his cap, just settled down for a long winters nap.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, I sprang from my kitty condo to see what was the matter.

Away to the window I flew like a flash, tore open the venetian blinds and let out a big gasp.

The moon on the breast of the new fallen snow (Who wrote this crap?  I’m skipping ahead.)

When what to my wondering eyes should appear, but a miniature sleigh and eight tiny reindeer. (I wonder what they taste like…)

With a little old driver, so lively and quick, I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick. (It’s about time he got here!)

More rapid than eagles, his coursers they came and he whistled and shouted and called them by name.

Now Bashful! Now Doc!
Now Dopey and Grumpy!
On Happy! On Sleepy!
On Sneezy and..and….Hey!  I only have seven reindeer….oh well…moving on…

To the top of the porch! 
To the top of the wall!
Now dash away! Dash away!
Dash away all!

Blah! Blah! Blah! Does this poem ever end! Sigh….

And then in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
 the prancing and pawing of each little hoof.

As I drew in my head and was turning around,
down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound.

Oh No! We don’t have a fire place!  How’s Santa going to get in???   Be right back!  Momma!!!!!
(Five minutes later..) Okay.  We’re gonna leave the back door unlocked for Santa Cat but I can’t tell anyone because Momma doesn’t want burglars.  Now where were we……

He sprang to his sleigh,
To his team gave a whistle,
and away they all flew like the down of a thistle

But I heard him explain as he drove out of sight,

Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

Upset as I was, I ran with all my might and yelled to the sky,
Get back here Santa, you’re not done for the night!

The Little Thing awaits, upstairs in his crib
You promised you’d take him and you don’t tell fibs!

The lying old geezer and his rabid crew flew away and left me
standing under the moon alone and dismayed.

The neighborhood dogs started howling at the sight
So I turned to them and yelled back,
Oh shut up! Go away and good night!

-The End-

Wishing you and yours a Merry Christmas, Happy New Year and safe holiday travels!

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