5.  Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey are not in this book.

4.   Rhiannon doesn’t annoy the crap out of me.

3.    When I “turn page” in On Fallen Wings, it’s because I’m anxious to find out what happens next.  When I “turn page” in Fifty Shades of Grey, it’s because I’m trying to get to the more interesting stuff.

2.     I could read On Fallen Wings to my child.  I could read Fifty Shades of Grey to my child but someone would probably call child protective services on me. Plus, let’s not forget about the angry-parent phone calls:

“Mrs. Silver.  Little Sally came home from school today asking about butt plugs and nipple clamps.  She said she heard those words from your son.” – Somehow I don’t think that would go over well.

1. I felt like my adult responsibilities were a rude interruption.  With Fifty Shades, my adult responsibilities were a welcome relief. 

“Oh!  Thank God!  It’s time to leave for my root canal.  I can’t wait!”