The last week and a half has been filled with one eye-opening experience after another. And here they all are! Smushed into one blog post in no particular order.

Girl Scout cookies arrived on February 2nd.

Since my 6-year-old is in a troop, my husband and I went a little nuts supporting her. In total, we bought 24 boxes of cookies.

The plus-side of having so many cookies is we now had ample blackmail material available to inspire our children to eat their dinner. I don’t remember what I fixed for dinner that night but the kids ate it all.

And because we promised cookies, I gave each of them two Thin Mints. The 7-year-old inhaled his cookies. The other two did not. I learned that my two youngest children don’t like Thin Mints.

It’s fine. More Thin Mints for the rest of us. And yet, I looked at my girls and wondered how they could be mine.

Fast forward a few days.

I had to take the 6-year-old back to the doctor because her ear infection decided one round of antibiotics wasn’t enough. The second antibiotic they gave her tasted awful and it was obvious to everyone that she was going to put up a fight. To stop that nonsense from happening, I bought a bag of mini-Snickers and gave her two pieces after she took her medicine. But when the baby saw that her sister had chocolate, she wanted chocolate. I figured the seven-year-old would then also want some chocolate so I handed him a piece.

The seven-year-old looked at it and said, “I don’t like this.”

Me: What do you mean you don’t like it? It’s chocolate???

Him: I don’t like it. It’s yucky.

When the six-year-old heard that she burst into tears, heartbroken that her older brother didn’t like her special chocolate.

I knew exactly how she felt. Only my reasons for crying were a bit different.

Fast forward again to last Saturday. I met some people I’m in a Bible club with and we played a rousing game of Never Have I Ever.

The point of the game is to get to know people really well. Really, really well. I now know more than I ever wanted to know about the people who played this game. And I’m pretty sure they’d all say the same thing about me. Take a look at my wall of shame (cards you leave face up if it’s something you’re guilty of.)

The next morning, the two-year-old woke up with an ear infection. I took her and the six-year-old with to the doctor. When the doctor walked in, the six-year-old engaged him in conversation.

Doctor: What brings you in today?

The six-year-old: She has an earache.

The doctor: Oh yeah? When did that start?

The six-year-old: Last night. She couldn’t sleep. And this morning she woke up and now she has an ear infection.

The Doctor: Does she have a fever?”

The six-year-old: Nope. No fever. Just a bad ouchie in her ear.

And there you have it. I was rendered totally useless by my six-year-old.

And if that wasn’t enough, yesterday marked the grand finale of the week. I took the 6-year-old and the 7-year-old to the dentist. The 7-year-old did fine. The 6-year-old….on the other hand….

…did an impression of Jack-Jack on steroids.

She kicked the lamp they use to light up your mouth and then hit me with her fist, all while screaming bloody murder.

I had to hold her down while the hygienist cleaned her teeth. After the cleaning, she realized it was not that frightening and everything was fine. I realize that by sharing this with everyone, I’m opening myself up to criticism because I held her down during the cleaning. Before you criticise, I’d like to remind you that the name of this blog is Snark, Sass, & Sarcasm. You can criticise but it won’t end well for you. Oh and, for the record, she’s six and this is the first cleaning she’s ever had because she wouldn’t cooperate in the past.

And that’s all. That’s my week in a nutshell.

Thanks for shopping Snark, Sass, & Sarcasm. I’ll see you next time!