A little patience please.

>Dear Small Town Police Department, It was brought to my attention recently that one of your officers filed a complaint against my office, specifically, me, because of a so-called “intentionally slow scene response”.  I would like to take this opportunity to remind your fellow officers of a couple of things. First of all, I understand how tragic and difficult the […]

Things police officers have said to me at death scenes.

>1.  “Hey look!  It’s Kay Scarpetta!” Funny!  Compare me to a fictional character.  I bet you wouldn’t think it was so funny if I walked up to you and said “Hey look!  It’s Barney Fife!” 2.  “You work at the Coroner’s office.  You look so normal.” Thanks!  Huh huh.  SUCKER! 3.  AWW Come one!  Where’s the leather pants and high […]

Random things I’ve said at work and what they mean

>1.   “I wanna have a My Little Pony Party.” Translation:  I’m bored.  The phones aren’t ringing.  What I wouldn’t give for a death call right now.  WHOA!  That’s wrong!  I’m going to hell!  Let me rephrase….what I wouldn’t give for the cops to call me and tell me they found Porky Pig, Bugs Bunny and Bambi bones lying around in […]

A Writer’s Dilemma

>So here’s the thing.  I love to write.  But I have a hard time getting my words on to paper, or the computer for that matter.  A lot of times I have dialogues and narratives that trample through my brain at random moments.  Experts have said that the best thing to do in this situation is to carry something with […]

Dear Primary Care Doctor

>Dear Primary Care Doctor, My office has sent three requests for medical records on the above-named individual, and, as of today, we have yet to receive those records.  Question.  Did you think your response to my request was optional?  Answer.  State law dictates that you comply with our request.  Immediately forward us this patient’s records to include a complete history […]

Vampires in the Morgue

Sometimes I really have to wonder where in the world I am when phenomena, such as Twilight, occurs.  I leave the house everyday.  I interact with other people.  Yet, it wasn’t until the movie has been released to DVD for rental that I had even heard about it. After hearing one of my coworkers gush endlessly over Edward and all of […]

The Difference between a Coroner and a Medical Examiner

>In the simplest of terms, a Coroner is an elected official, who, depending on state law, may only need to be 18 years of age with a valid driver’s license and the ability to pass a background check.  Scary!!!  Some states are a little more strict on who they will allow to run for office.  States such as Ohio require […]

Reasons Not to Mess With the Death Investigator.

>There are some ground rules to establish so that this blog makes sense for my faithful readers who may not understand how a death scene investigation works. Rule number 1:  The police do not request transport for the decedent.  That responsibility falls on the death investigator.  Rule number 2:  The uniformed officers that initially respond are not allowed to leave […]

Under the category of “Things I wish I had said at death scenes:

I have to say that my favorite people to work with are police officers.  They are some of the funniest and strangest people I’ve worked with at death scenes. About two years ago I responded to the scene of an individual who was in her forties and had very little medical history.  The scene was in an apartment building with […]