If The Baby Monitor Could Talk

1.     THE BABY’S AWAKE! THE BABY’S AWAKE! THE BABY’S AWAKE!

2.     ATTENTION!  THIS IS A SPECIAL NEWS ALERT!  THE ARMS ARE LOOSE!  THE ARMS HAVE ESCAPED FROM THE SWADDLE!  ONCE AGAIN, THE ARMS ARE LOOSE!

3.  BOOB ALERT!  BOOB ALERT!  MOMMA!  PLEASE REPORT TO THE NURSERY.  THE BABY NEEDS BOOB.

4.  THE DIAPER HAS SPRUNG A LEAK!  REPEAT!  THE DIAPER HAS SPRUNG A LEAK!

5.  TO ANY AVAILABLE PARENT:  THE BABY HAS A TUMMY ACHE!  PLEASE REPORT TO THE NURSERY WITH A BURP CLOTH.