Dear Applicant(s)

>Dear Applicant(s): Many people, when applying for a job, believe that their time to “shine” starts at the interview.  I regret to inform you that this is not so.  Your time to shine, infact, starts from the time you submit your application and resume.  Every communication you make with my office after that is also part of your interview process.  […]

Vampires in the Morgue-Part Two

So I broke down and reluctantly read the third installment of the Twilight Series and, quite frankly, if it hadn’t been for the support of my friends/coworkers, I never would have made it to the end of the book. Bella!  Bella! Bella!  She has to be the most irritating, whiny-assed, clumsy, idiot that I’ve ever encountered. I swear if I […]

Don’t Lie to the Death Investigator. It’s Rude!

>First and foremost I would like to state that I really do enjoy all of the police officers that I work with.  They definitely make things a little more entertaining for me when I respond to a scene.  However, there are a few that irritate the hell out of me -mainly, the ones who lie to me and actually think […]

A little patience please.

>Dear Small Town Police Department, It was brought to my attention recently that one of your officers filed a complaint against my office, specifically, me, because of a so-called “intentionally slow scene response”.  I would like to take this opportunity to remind your fellow officers of a couple of things. First of all, I understand how tragic and difficult the […]

Things police officers have said to me at death scenes.

>1.  “Hey look!  It’s Kay Scarpetta!” Funny!  Compare me to a fictional character.  I bet you wouldn’t think it was so funny if I walked up to you and said “Hey look!  It’s Barney Fife!” 2.  “You work at the Coroner’s office.  You look so normal.” Thanks!  Huh huh.  SUCKER! 3.  AWW Come one!  Where’s the leather pants and high […]

Random things I’ve said at work and what they mean

>1.   “I wanna have a My Little Pony Party.” Translation:  I’m bored.  The phones aren’t ringing.  What I wouldn’t give for a death call right now.  WHOA!  That’s wrong!  I’m going to hell!  Let me rephrase….what I wouldn’t give for the cops to call me and tell me they found Porky Pig, Bugs Bunny and Bambi bones lying around in […]

A Writer’s Dilemma

>So here’s the thing.  I love to write.  But I have a hard time getting my words on to paper, or the computer for that matter.  A lot of times I have dialogues and narratives that trample through my brain at random moments.  Experts have said that the best thing to do in this situation is to carry something with […]

Dear Primary Care Doctor

>Dear Primary Care Doctor, My office has sent three requests for medical records on the above-named individual, and, as of today, we have yet to receive those records.  Question.  Did you think your response to my request was optional?  Answer.  State law dictates that you comply with our request.  Immediately forward us this patient’s records to include a complete history […]

Vampires in the Morgue

Sometimes I really have to wonder where in the world I am when phenomena, such as Twilight, occurs.  I leave the house everyday.  I interact with other people.  Yet, it wasn’t until the movie has been released to DVD for rental that I had even heard about it. After hearing one of my coworkers gush endlessly over Edward and all of […]