Sometimes I write letters to Ellen DeGeneres. No particular reason. Just because I can.
The other night, my son had an accident in his diaper. I guess that’s not really an accident considering he was in his nighttime diaper and we put him in it for that very reason. But, the next morning I overheard my kids discussing that accident and a few other things.
Baby Girl: Brother, what was all the ruckus about last night?
Baby Boy: I inadvertently produced a bowel movement in my diaper. Upon realizing it, I contacted Momma, requesting her assistance.
Baby Girl: You produced a bowel movement in your diaper? Momma’s been making me sit on the potty for weeks now. I didn’t know we still had the option of putting bowel movements in our diapers.
Baby Boy: I believe, Sister, that Momma and Dadda would prefer if we did not urinate or put bowel movements in our diaper. I think they would prefer if did all of our potty business on the potty.
Baby Girl: Good to know, Brother. Here I am, feeling the need to produce a bowel movement. Now I know I should seek out Momma’s assistance in using the potty.
Baby Boy: My goodness, no. There’s no need to tell Momma you need to use the potty. Just wait. Momma’s internal clock will alert her to your needs.
Baby Girl: Really? That’s odd hypothesis considering that Momma is always telling me that I should tell her when I need to use the potty.
Baby Boy: She’s just trying to make us feel independent. But really, it’s unnecessary. I feel quite independent. After all, I’m able to urinate and poop without Momma’s assistance. I’ve been doing it my entire life.
Momma: Okay, Baby Girl, it’s time for you to use the potty.
Baby Boy: See, Sister, I was right.
Baby Girl: Indeed you were, Brother.