Diary of a Cranky Cat – I’ve Met the Max-Cat
Dear Diary, I’ve met the Max-Cat. Earlier today I was investigating my new surroundings. Momma told me not to go upstairs. I interpreted that to mean that I absolutely should go upstairs. So, I did. The first door on the right was a large bedroom. Seeing as how I’ve already opened all of the cupboard […]
Diary of a Cranky Cat – I’m NOT Dirty
Dear Diary, I’ve been in Atlanta for four days now, allegedly sharing a house with this Max-Cat person. If he’s supposed to be a guard cat then someone needs to tell him he sucks at his job. I’ve been in his house all this time and not once has he ever challenged me. Pussy! It […]
Diary of a Cranky Cat – I figured it out!
Dear Diary, I figured it out! All this time I thought Momma’s Little Thing was an ugly, hairless, smelly, drooling cat. But, I was wrong. He’s not a cat at all. Over the past month or so, I’ve been watching Momma and Boy-Dadda interact with him. It’s very interesting. They place him on the floor, […]
Antiquing in Atlanta
We have arrived in Georgia, but since our house isn’t ready for us to move in to, we’re staying with family in Atlanta. My sis-in-law and her husband are very gracious hosts and took us to several antique stores here. I love antique stores. I love the smell of dust-covered old stuff. It’s exhilarating – […]
Diary of a Cranky Cat – The Sheriff
Dear Diary, I’m NOT talking to Momma and you can’t make me. Just sayin’. We arrived in a placed called Atlanta a couple of days ago and are staying with my human aunt and uncle. It’s a nice house but apparently Momma believes there are rules for me to follow. You’re gonna laugh your ass […]
Diary of a Cranky Cat – The Battle
Dear Diary, This is has not been a good week. Not good at all! NOT GOOD! BAD! BAD, BAD! I thought I made it perfectly I wasn’t going to Georgia. Apparently, Momma didn’t get the memo. Either that, or she refused to read it. This whole mess actually started last week Thursday. That’s when Boy-Dadda […]
If Baby Took Out a Personal Ad
Hi. My name is Button. I’m a five month old Caucasian male. I have reddish-blond hair, blue eyes and a smile guaranteed to melt the crankiest momma’s heart. I’m very mature for my age. I go through 8-9 diapers a day. I’m able to hold my head up. I can eat rice cereal from a […]
The Deadline is Here!
Well, I made it!!!! My story has been put in the mail and sent overnight to Cincinnati, OH. Is it possible to have Writer’s Remorse? ‘Cause I’m pretty sure I have writer’s remorse. I feel nauseated. After I left the post off my fat girl with a bad attitude began screaming, “Are you insane! Get […]
I Love Office Supplies Because……
They’re less expensive than clothing. It’s easier to convince my husband that I need office supplies than clothes or shoes. It’s easier to get a tax write off for office supplies than clothes – I think. I’ve never tried it. Office supplies never hurt my feet. Office supplies never make my butt look big. I […]
Things That Make Me Say, ‘My Precious” in a Creepy Gollum Voice
For my mother, who may not understand the Lord of the Rings reference, I have the following You Tube clip. The creepy guy is Gollum. 10. My baby blanket – not Baby’s blanket – Mine. The one my mother made for me. Yes, I still have it. 9. Little Miss (Don’t tell Gwennie) […]