Conversations I Have with My Cat
“Okay Gwennie,” I’m getting your Memes uploaded to Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr and StumbleUpon.” Gwennie flapped her tail, not listening to a word I was saying until the last social media site I mentioned. “Stumble-a-who?” She jumped onto the kitchen table and sat next to the computer. “StumbleUpon,” I repeated. “What’s that?” I rubbed my […]
Diary of a Cranky Cat – My first video blog
Dear Diary, I’m gonna be famous. I finally have my very own video blog on YouTube. Get out of my way Grumpy Cat! Gwennie is here to stay! Now, I should warn you that the camera man, Momma, is inexperienced with taking video footage so my first entry isn’t perfect. But don’t worry, despite its […]
If The Baby Monitor Could Talk
1. THE BABY’S AWAKE! THE BABY’S AWAKE! THE BABY’S AWAKE! 2. ATTENTION! THIS IS A SPECIAL NEWS ALERT! THE ARMS ARE LOOSE! THE ARMS HAVE ESCAPED FROM THE SWADDLE! ONCE AGAIN, THE ARMS ARE LOOSE! 3. BOOB ALERT! BOOB ALERT! MOMMA! PLEASE REPORT TO THE NURSERY. THE BABY NEEDS BOOB. 4. THE DIAPER HAS SPRUNG A […]
It Goes in the Mouth
It Goes in the Mouth My diaper is wet My mouth is dry I cry and I cry Daddy comes in He picks me up It’s a nice try But it’s not enough. He changes my diaper I smack my lips He gives me that sucky thing I spit it out. It’s not that thing! […]
Diary of a Cranky Cat – Little Missy Knocked Some Sense Into Me
Dear Diary, I have a hard life. There have been so many changes recently that the stress of all of it has just about pushed me off the cliff of sanity. (But at least I’m poetic.) Ever since Momma brought the Minion home I’ve had increased responsibilities. For example, I have to clean up […]
Musings of a Newborn
Star date – 150120013, It’s been six weeks since I was forcibly ejected from my escape-pod. Fortunately my captors have demonstrated compassion. The two older captors – who call themselves Momma and Daddy – seem to be kind. They take turns changing my space suit which inexplicably floods throughout the day. The younger one, whom […]
Gwennie and Little Missy’s Chat with the Little Thing
“No!” Little Thing wagged his finger at Gwennie who stared at him with her usual amount of contempt. “What do you mean, no? Don’t tell me, no! That’s rude!” She glared at him from the top of her kitty condo, just barely out of his reach. “What’s going on?” Little Missy pranced down the […]
Diary of a Cranky Cat – My Apology
Dear Diary, Momma said I owed her an apology. She said it’s not nice to call people fat….even if it’s true. She said I should never, ever say such hurtful things to people because it’ll make them feel bad. She also said I should write an apology to her so everyone knows I’m not actually […]
Diary of a Cranky Cat – Momma Never Learns
Dear Diary, I’m sorry it’s been so long since I last made an entry. Momma is the vessel I use to write and she’s been a little busy. Yep. That’s right. Momma did it again. She went to another rescue organization and brought home a human kitten. (Head shake) She never learns. You would think […]
A Message From Gwennie
Happy Frickin’ New Year, Preverts!