Musings of a Newborn

Star date – 150120013,

It’s been six weeks since I was forcibly ejected from my escape-pod.  Fortunately my captors have demonstrated compassion.  The two older captors – who call themselves Momma and Daddy – seem to be kind.  They take turns changing my space suit which inexplicably floods throughout the day.  The younger one, whom Momma and Daddy refer to as Big Brother, is also known as the Little Thing by the two furry rodents who roam the house.  Big Brother has also demonstrated random acts of kindness toward me while I remain in captivity.  Last week he offered me his sippy cup.  This week he offered me crackers.  This last act made Momma a little nervous and she quickly reminded him those were his crackers, not mine.  Mental Note: research cracker and determine why I can’t have it.  Also – I must research this thing called a “cookie” as this is something Big Brother asks for frequently.

My main source of nutrition on this strange planet is from Boob.  Boob is some sort of fruit or vegetable which provides the nourishment I need.  Boob is warm, approximately 98.6 degrees and not only satisfies my hunger but also eases my nerves. For whatever reason, Boob chooses to stay close to Momma.  Therefore, whenever Momma travels too far from me, I signal my disapproval by releasing a loud, high-pitched cry.  This technique has proven most effective over the past few weeks, although I’ve noticed Momma’s appearance growing more and more tired.

My cell is interesting; It’s made of wood.  I have two cell mates.  A singing dog called Violet and a Giraffe whose name I have yet to learn.  Giraffe doesn’t say much.  Violet talks to me but only when Momma or Daddy are present and they force her to by pressing on her paws.

It’s time to go now.  I’ve discovered something sticky in my space suit and feel Momma should look into this.

-End Entry –

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