A. Marie Silver

A. Marie Silver

Dear Ellen: I suffer from TMICRIMH

I write letters to Ellen DeGeneres.  No particular reason. Just because I can.

Dear Ellen,

Though I haven’t been officially diagnosed, I’m certain I suffer from an incurable disease known as TMICRIMH.  I’m not even sure I got all the letters. How sad is that?  TMICRIMH stands for Too Many Imaginary Conversations Running Around In My Head.  Look at that! I did miss a letter. (Shakes head) As such, I can’t remember if I’ve already shared this imaginary conversation with you.  Please forgive me if it’s a duplicate.

This is another imagined conversation between my 3 1/2 year-old son and almost two-year-old daughter.

“Kid Ride” by sattva
courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net

Baby Boy: Today was an exhausting but fascinating day.  I think I’ll sleep rather well.

Baby Girl: Why, brother? What was so fascinating about it?

Baby Boy: The train ride, of course.  I love trains! I love playing with trains. I love watching trains on television. And, I really love riding in trains! It was the most exhilarating day of my entire life!

Baby Girl: Well I don’t love trains! I don’t like watching trains. I don’t like playing with trains. I don’t like it when you throw your trains at me, AND! I really don’t like riding in or waiting for trains.

Baby Boy: (Pursing his lips) I’m going to write about your irrational dislike of trains for my third grade dissertation.

Baby Girl: I’m going to color all over your third grade dissertation with my pink crayon!

Baby Boy: Don’t be silly, sister.  You can’t color with a pink crayon!

Baby Girl: Why not?

Baby Boy: If you had observed the map at the train station, you would have noticed that there were no pink lines on the map.

Baby Girl: Excellent observation in deed! How do you recommend I amend my previous statement?

Baby Boy: It’s a very simple process, sister.  Simply subtract the pink crayon from your statement and replace it with one of the colors that was available on the map.  Your options are: red, orange, silver, blue, yellow or green.

Baby Girl: Very well then. I’m going to color all over your third grade dissertation with a red crayon.

Baby Boy: (Nodding) Excellent choice.

Baby Girl: And then I’m going to shove my pink crayon up your nose!

Ellen, I think next time I diagnose myself, I’ll pick an acronym I can remember. What do you think?


A. Marie

9 Responses

        1. It’s definitely possible. We should take out a classified ad to see if there is any interest. Then we can have people fill out a questionnaire that asks silly questions like, “Smurfs or Duck Tales,” “If you could be any kind of nut, which almond would you be?” and “If you walk three miles to the gas station, how many apples will be in your neighbors tree when you get home?” Math questions are very important in assessing sarcasm and overactive imaginations.

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A. Marie Smith

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