Sometimes I write letters to Ellen DeGeneres. No particular reason. Just because I can.
The other night, I dropped my husband off at a friend’s house for his monthly night out. He watched me as I was setting up the GPS system. “Babe,” he said. “Why do you need the GPS system. Taking the freeway, it’s a straight shot east from here.
I laughed. “Keep in mind you’re talking to someone who gets lost walking out to the mailbox.”
“The mailbox?” he asked, scratching his head. “You do not get lost walking out to our mailbox.”
“Oh yes I do,” I said.
“It’s attached to our front door,” he said.
“And yet, every time I check the mail, I wind up in our backyard. Wanna explain that one?” I asked.
“Whatever.” He laughed, closing the car door. “It’s a straight line,” he continued. “You can’t get lost following a straight line.”
“Never underestimate my ability to get lost, my dear,” I said. “When it comes to getting lost, I’m talented.”
For most people, a straight line is a straight line. But for me, a straight line east towards Baltimore means I’ll find myself in downtown Pittsburgh – five hours later – with no idea how I got there.
What can I say, Ellen? I’m talented like that.
Any out there have any humorous tales they’d like to share about getting lost? If so, let me know in the comments.