Dear Ellen: It was a miraculous resurrection!

Sometimes I write letters to Ellen DeGeneres. No particular reason. Just because I can.

Dear Ellen,

This is an actual conversation I had with my husband a few years ago – before Baby Girl was born. My husband has a habit of asking me what time I put the kids down.  He’s referring to their naps, of course. But whenever he says it like that, it rubs me the wrong way. I feel like he’s asking me if I euthanized our children.  So one day, I had enough.

Husband (glancing at the clock): What time did you put Baby Boy down?”

Me (sighing): I euthanized him a little over two hours ago. But don’t worry, I suspect he’ll miraculously resurrect in the next 45 minutes.”

It was a miraculous resurrection, indeed! He woke up right on schedule.


A. Marie


  1. Lazarus is perhaps your boy’s name? If not, is there an angel running around your house? Perhaps unbeknownst to you? Oh, never mind. Ellen will be able to figure it out – she always does.

  2. I would pay good money to have seen the look on your husband’s face.

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