I write letters to Ellen DeGeneres. Why? Because I Can!
My main character whines a lot. All day long I listen to her complain. “It’s not fair,” she says, “I want to be thin!” I keep telling her that I think it’s good for younger girls to see that the star of a novel isn’t a stick figure. My main character is a size 16. She’s still very attractive, she’s just not a tooth pick. The other day, she went on and on about her size and how she wanted to lose 20 pounds. She kept looking at me like I was supposed to fix it. I don’t have time to fix it. I’m still trying to figure out how to get her out of the shower she’s been trapped in for the last three years. You’d think she’d be more upset over that than her weight. Alas, I grew tired of her complaints so I signed her up for Weight Watchers. Apparently that wasn’t what she had in mind. Now she won’t speak to me.
Some people might consider this to be a form of writer’s block, but not me. In my case, all of the other characters in my novel are more than happy to work with me – except for the antagonist. He got a sneak peek at how the story ends so he’s not too thrilled with me at the moment either.
What is a writer to do?