Dear Ellen: Today was total chaos!

Sometimes I write letters to Ellen DeGeneres. No particular reason. Just because I can.

Dear Ellen,

Today was total chaos! Baby Boy kept growling at his little sister. Baby Girl kept trying to body slam the poor cat, who dug her claws into me to brace herself every time.  This evening Baby Boy smacked his head against the coffee table – hard.  Like, goose-egg hard, scaring the crap out of Mommy and Daddy. But for those of you who are curious, he’s fine.  I, on the other hand, picked a hell of a week to quit drinking.  To top it off, I burned my hand while taking Baby Girl’s birthday cake out of the oven.  Did I mention?  She turns two tomorrow!  I have a two-year-old! Most days I don’t even feel like I’m potty trained and here I am with a 3 1/2-year-old and a 2-year-old. There should be laws requiring parents to be potty trained before having kids! Wait….is there? If so, I might be in trouble. Or not. I don’t know.

I said it before and I’ll say it again: I picked a hell of a week to quit drinking!

Sincerely,

A. Marie

P.S.

Mom, if you’re reading this, Baby Boy is fine. I promise.

6 thoughts on “Dear Ellen: Today was total chaos!

  1. You managed to blog it which indicates you survived, survival is good. Next time no children are around to copy and you see an advert for some domestic product the usage of which causes the adult couple to grin like they were at an MAD’s Alfred E Numan convention throw soft cushions at the TV and use ‘potty’ words- works wonders for evaporating pent-up rage.

      1. It hasn’t stopped me from having it completely yet- but I definitely notice an icky feeling after- so annoying! I’m pretty sure I can used all the disabled toilets now though and bring my dogs into places because I clearly need service animals for this.