A. Marie Silver

A. Marie Silver

There are no rules: Day 5 and A Letter to Ellen Degeneres

The challenge for day 5 is to create a Facebook account.  Not a page; an account.  Check!  I’ve had an account for a few years now.  If you’d like to send me a friend request here is my account information: facebook.com/amariesilver.

A warning to the freaky deakies out there.  You know who you are.  If you do any of the following:

  1. Ask me to go out on a date
  2. Ask me to marry you
  3. Ask me for money
  4. Ask me to buy your product
  5. Ask me what I’m wearing
  6. Or, do anything else that weirds me out, I will, put into use, my very particular set of skills which involves blocking you and reporting you to the Facebook authorities.

Now that my challenge for today is complete.  I would like to add that I’ve been exploring reddit.  And today, on the subreddit “funny” forum, I submitted a letter to Ellen DeGeneres.  Why?  Because I can.  But even more interesting that the letter I wrote – I’ll share that in a minute – is the response I got.  Take a look.

Dear Ellen,

I’m a 36-year-old stay-at-home mom to a 3-year-old little boy who refuses to potty train and an almost 2-year-old little girl who’s still chewing on the furniture. This might come as a surprise to you but my kids are actually human.

You don’t know me, Ellen. At least, not outside the vast regions of my overactive imagination. But in those vast regions, we’re BFFs. You come over to my house three days a week, and during nap time, we have a dance-off in my living room. Wasn’t last week fun? My husband is still trying to figure out why there were adult-sized shoe prints on the coffee table. I told him I used it to change a light bulb. Bad move. We don’t have a light fixture on our ceiling or on the walls.

I told my friends I was going to start writing these letters to you. They rolled their eyes and called me a desperate housewife. Rude! I’m not desperate. I’m bat-shit crazy. I mean seriously, there’s a difference.

Anyway, I hope you don’t mind but I told Dr. Phil we’d be dropping by next week for tea. See you then!

Sincerely yours,

A. Marie

Here is the comment I received:

I don’t get this sort of humour. Did it sound funny in your head?

Here is my response:

Funny but true story, it did sound funny. Sorry if you don’t agree. I’ll try to be funnier next time.

Some writers might cringe at this comment and hide under a rock. Not me.  Nope.  For me, this screams challenge!  And that poor commenter is in for a surprise because I have at least 30 more letters to write to Ellen.

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A. Marie Smith

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