Dear Ellen: I Name Things

I write letters to Ellen DeGeneres.  Why? Because I Can!

Dear Ellen,

I name things.  Not all things, just the most prominent things in my life. My desk is named Rodrigo. My computer is Amos and my printer is Leonard.  At the risk of sounding really crazy, I even named children.

My husband doesn’t understand how important it is to respect the names I’ve given the inanimate objects in my life.  He refers to them as desk, printer and computer.  Rodrigo, Leonard, and Amos don’t say anything.  They’ve learned to accept his refusal to address them by their proper names.  But then there’s Fred.  He’s an entirely different story altogether.  Fred is very sensitive to the fact that my husband doesn’t address him by his proper name.  It hurts Fred’s feelings.

Ellen, how can I make my husband understand that he has to stop calling Fred a sewing machine.

Sincerely,

A. Marie