A. Marie Silver

A. Marie Silver

Dear Ellen: Got Wine?

I write letters to Ellen DeGeneres.  Why? Because I Can!

Today is day 11 of the Writer’s Digest platform challenge.  The challenge for today is to share your blog post to either Facebook or Twitter.  Done!  This blog automatically posts to Twitter.  I’d also like to give a shout-out to the two bloggers who commented on yesterday’s blog.  Thank you for playing with me!  Today, my letter to Ellen mentions fellow writer Yvonne and the three words she left me to incorporate into my blog were: birds, wine, and calendar.

Dear Ellen,

I like wine. A lot. Some people open a bottle and have leftovers. Why? Leftover wine  is bad. I believe if you open it, you should finish it. I can’t feel my teeth. Is that bad?

I just finished my third bottle. Ellen, why are there birds in my house? Everywhere. Birds in my curtains. Birds on the windows. I think there’s even a bird in my cat’s butt. That might explain why she’s so cranky. Should I do something with the birds? Ooh! I’ll call Yvonne. She ‘s my new BFF. We go way back. Like 16 hours. I know because I marked it on my thingy…you know…that thingy with the squares that have the numbers on them. Calculator! No. That’s not right. Compact! No. That’s not right either. It starts with a cah sound. My face is numb. Yvonne is so totally awesome….and stuff.  We have sooooo much in common. We both write…stuff…and…..the room is spinning.  Has my ceiling always been so white?  Yvonne has a blog just like me.  Hers is super cool!  It’s here.  Wow!  Do hyperlinks always look so weird?  Maybe I need more wine.

Ellen, the birds are staring at me. I think I drank myself into a horror movie. CALENDAR! That’s it! That’s the cah sound. Is that bird poop on my hand? Maybe it’s ice cream. When did we buy ice cream? I can’t have ice cream on my diet. Then again, I can’t have more than a glass of wine a day. Who thought up that rule? The bird people! They sent the birds to watch me. Freaks!

Ellen, if you’re reading this, please tell Yvonne she has to come get the birds. I would call her but my tongue is asleep….and I can’t feel my toes.


A. Marie

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A. Marie Smith

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