I write letters to Ellen DeGeneres. Why? Because I Can!
Sometime in July, my friend and I went on a writer’s retreat. We didn’t have a lot of money, so our writer’s retreat doubled as a camping trip. It was a really good time! The first night, we read campfire stories to each other using different accents. The second night, we tried to figure out what shapes were burning into the fire wood. I can’t remember all of the shapes but I think Jesus and a demonic monkey were two of them. Our campground was adjacent to another that was occupied by a young couple. From a distance they seemed nice. We didn’t actually talk to them, but we did make up stories about them. I thought they were having a good time but on our last night there, they packed up their tent and left….at 10 PM at night! Who does that, Ellen? Who packs up at 10 PM at night? And, they didn’t even say goodbye! There was no wave, no Dear John letter, no exchanging of phone numbers or emails. Nothing! I’ve never felt more devastated and betrayed. I thought the four of us were having a good time – even though we never did anything together.
My camping partner says I have issues letting go and that I need to move past this. She acted as though their abrupt departure didn’t bother her in the least. I know, now, that’s not true. She was even more devastated than I was. Their rejection was so painful, that the only way my friend could deal with it was by leaving Maryland and moving to Utah. I know she said we needed to move on, but she never said anything about moving away.
Even now, several months later, I gaze out the window and wonder about that young couple. Are they still a couple? Do they think of my friend and I and the fun times the four of us never actually shared together? My heart is still broken and yet, I know I must go on.
Ellen, do you think I have problems moving on?
laughing and crying so hard right now. What you don’t know is the real reason I left was to track them down and make them answer for the anguish they caused you!!!lol
Come home! I miss you!
Haha! I like your style of writing you’re pretty funny and obviously a born writer, nobody thinks about these things unless they’re very creative! Nice way of building stories out of people watching, I love it! Planted some seeds for me to try next time I’m out an about and I do love to people watch!
This letter made me genuinely laugh out loud. You are very funny in a subtle sort of way. Has E.G. responded to any of your letters?
No. I don’t have any expectations that she will either. It’s still fun to write to her!
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