I write letters to Ellen DeGeneres. No particular reason. Just because I can.
Dear Ellen,
This letter is dedicated to Creepy Guy. Shortly after we put the “For Sale” sign outside of our house, Creepy Guy took it upon himself to stand in our flower beds and peek inside all of the windows.
but a “For Sale” sign isn’t an invitation to be a creep.
Moving along. A lot of lessons were learned during this sale because this was the first time we ever sold a home.
Selling a home is very stressful. Once the house goes on the market you have to make sure you keep the house immaculate because on a moment’s notice, you could get a call requesting a showing. Now if you add three, tiny humans to the mix, things get really stressful.
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We spent every spare minute cleaning.
We were very fortunate. Our home was only on the market for five days before we had a signed contract.
The wife walks around the house, shaking her head. “I just don’t understand what these people were thinking, Jeffrey. I mean look at this.” She points toward the walls. “Every room of this house has the same boring, neutral-colored paint.”
“It’s alright, Muffin.” The husband pats her on the back. “Once we get settled, I’ll get to work and in no-time flat these walls will be bursting with color.”
The wife walks into the kitchen, closes her eyes and smiles. “I can already see the polka-dots and zebra stripes.”
She opens her eyes. “What do you think we should do in the basement?”
“Watermelon red on every wall.”
“Perfect.” The wife’s face beams. “We can put our altar to the Fruit Fly Goddess down there.”
“Yes!” The husband claps his hands. “And the wall along the stairwell can be where we put our collection of dehydrated maggots.”
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Our basement was divided in half by the stairs. On the right side of the basement was the office/laundry room with lots and lots of shelves to put stuff on….like a radon device.
Sincerely,
A. Marie
Calling all readers! What was your craziest home-buying or selling experience. I love hearing from you! Tell me all about it in the comments!
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