Today was the first time I put Baby in daycare. My husband had the day off and we thought it would be fun to have an afternoon date.
We took Baby to daycare, signed a few forms at the front desk and then met the people who were going to watch our child. Since this was our first time using daycare there was an orientation I had to go to first. I mention this only because it would have been helpful if during the orientation they told us the bottles had to be made in advance. What I was told was that all food given to infants and toddlers had to come in unopened, sealed containers or they would NOT give it to the children. So I went out and bought powdered formula that comes in pre-measured packets only to find out this wasn’t right either. Okay. Not a problem. Since I was there I went ahead and mixed the formula up and then daycare attendant put it in the refrigerator. On the way out we were asked where Baby’s shoes were.
Me: Shoes? He doesn’t have any shoes. He doesn’t walk.
Daycare attendant: It’s fine this time but all the babies have to have shoes.
Seriously? He’s 10 1/2 months old. He doesn’t walk. He crawls around on his stomach. I have a hard enough time trying to keep track of his socks because he takes those off and they want me to put him in shoes? Sigh. Lovely.
Me: Oh. He has a small diaper rash and there’s ointment in his bag.
Daycare attendant: We can’t give that to him unless you fill out a form first. Did you bring it?
Me: A form? No.
Daycare attendant: I can find one for you.
Me: That’s okay. We’ll only be gone for a few hours. He’ll be fine.
I signed another form in the room Baby was in, kissed him three million times and then we left.
On the way out:
Me: Oh God. Oh God. Oh my God. Oh God.
Husband: What’s wrong?
Me: What’s wrong? Seriously? Did you just ask me what’s wrong? I just left my child with strangers for the first time ever.
Husband: He’s my child too.
Me: No. He’s mine. ALL mine; and I just left him with strangers. Can we go back and get him?
Husband: Sure. After lunch.
During the twenty minute ride across town I sat in the car thinking: Oh God. Oh God. Oh my God. What have I done? I left my child with strangers. Is that even legal?
At lunch I treated my anxiety with a ginormous margarita. After the third margarita I was on my hands and knees underneath the table.
Husband: What are you doing?
Me: I’m looking for Baby’s shoes.
Husband: Honey, Baby is at daycare….and he doesn’t have any shoes.
By the fifth margarita I’d given up my search for Baby’s shoes but I was back on my hands and knees.
Husband: What are you doing now?
Me: I’m looking for the baby. Here Baby! Come to Momma! Here kitty, kitty!
Three very sober hours later we returned to the daycare to pick up Baby.
Lady at the front desk: Ma’am. You have to fill out another form. (She passed me a sheet of paper.) Sign here. Sign here and sign here.
I scribbled away and then scurried off toward the nursery.
Lady at the front desk: Ma’am! You have one more form to fill out.
GRRRR! Are you kidding me? I don’t want to fill out any more forms. I WANT MY BABY!!!!!
Me: Sigh. Okay.
I scribbled my name down and ran like hell.
When we walked inside the nursery, Baby was on the floor fussing. He did not look happy. I walked over and picked him up.
Me: How was he?
Daycare attendant: He wouldn’t take his 2 pm bottle at all so we didn’t bother giving him his 4 pm bottle. (I should mention here that the 4 pm bottle was really a “if he needs it” bottle.
Oh crap. That’s when it occurred to me.
Me: You don’t have a bottle warmer do you?
Daycare attendant: No. We ran it under warm water though. But he refused it.
What the hell kind of daycare doesn’t have a bottle warmer? Seriously! My poor baby went hungry while I was gulping down margaritas. I’m a bad mommy.
You’ll be happy to know that both Mommy and Baby survived the day. We got Baby home and fed him. When I took him upstairs to change his diaper I had him fill out a bunch of forms so I could put diaper cream on him. Then I had him fill out a few more forms so I could put him in his pajamas.
So there you have it. This was Baby’s first time at day care.
In closing, I’d like to make one final statement: