A Poem by Baby
My Bowl My bowl is a wonderful thing I use it as a teething ring. I like to wear it as a hat. Sometimes I throw it at my cats. I like to drop it on the floor. But then my Momma says, “No more!” But when I bang it on […]
On This Day In History
Here are some fun facts about October 9th. It is the 282nd day of the year. October 9, 1812 (The War of 1812) – There was a naval engagement on Lake Erie where American forces captured 2 British Ships -The HMS Detroit and HMS Caledonia. October 9, 1888 – The Washington Monument officially opened to […]
If Baby Could Talk – Part 3
Bottle! Bottle! Bottle! Want Bottle! Bottle! Bottle! Bottle! No! Don’t want rice cereal! Quit feeding me that! Put that spoon away and get me bottle! Bottle! Bottle! Where’s Bottle? Don’t tell me it needs more time in the bottle warmer! I don’t want to hear that! Want Bottle Now! Bottle! What are you doing? Hey! […]
Signing off until Friday!!!
Hello everyone! We have arrived in our new home but as of now, we still don’t have Internet service so this will be the last post until Friday…..I think…. I’d like everyone to keep me in your thoughts as I received some very tragic and unfortunate news this afternoon. The cable man can’t come until […]
My Colorful Choice of Words
My mother is quite possibly, my biggest fan. She has faithfully read every blog post I’ve written (with the exception of the Fifty Shades of Grey book review). Every morning, I wake up to an email she has sent, telling me how much she enjoyed the post from the previous evening. However, the one characteristic […]
If Baby Took Out a Personal Ad
Hi. My name is Button. I’m a five month old Caucasian male. I have reddish-blond hair, blue eyes and a smile guaranteed to melt the crankiest momma’s heart. I’m very mature for my age. I go through 8-9 diapers a day. I’m able to hold my head up. I can eat rice cereal from a […]
I Love Office Supplies Because……
They’re less expensive than clothing. It’s easier to convince my husband that I need office supplies than clothes or shoes. It’s easier to get a tax write off for office supplies than clothes – I think. I’ve never tried it. Office supplies never hurt my feet. Office supplies never make my butt look big. I […]
Things That Make Me Say, ‘My Precious” in a Creepy Gollum Voice
For my mother, who may not understand the Lord of the Rings reference, I have the following You Tube clip. The creepy guy is Gollum. 10. My baby blanket – not Baby’s blanket – Mine. The one my mother made for me. Yes, I still have it. 9. Little Miss (Don’t tell Gwennie) […]
Eight Reasons Why I’m Bat-Shit Crazy
I know what you’re thinking: Why eight? Why not five or ten? Well, I was aiming for ten reasons but my multiple personalities got into a fight with my auditory hallucinations and the end result was one hell of a headache. 8. I apologize to the furniture and the walls when I bump into them. […]
Confessions of a Paranoid New Mom
To J: You’re Gonna Rock Mommahood!!! A very good friend of mine is extremely pregnant and about ready to pop any day now. She called me at home and very clearly, was having some anxiety about her impending parenthood. She sounded more concerned about the concerns she was having; almost as if there was something wrong with her for having […]