A. Marie Silver

A. Marie Silver

Conversations I have with My Cat – Part 2

Me:  What do you think of this one?

Gwennie:  No, no, no.  We can’t use this picture, Momma.  I’m bathing in it.  People might think I’m dirty.

Me:  I think just the fact that you’re bathing would suggest otherwise.

Gwennie:  I don’t like it.

Me:  Okay.  How about this one?

Gwennie:  I look stoned.
Me:  Do you even know what that means?
Gwennie:  Of course.  It’s when you take too much catnip. 
Me:  How about this one?
Gwennie:  Well it’s an excellent profile shot but the shadow behind my ears makes my head look distorted.
Me:  Gwennie, this is for your blog.  Not the cover of Vogue.  Just pick one, will ya?
Gwennie:  No!  It has to be perfect.  Or at least decent!  The whole world is going to see this picture.
Me:  The whole world?  We only have four followers.
Gwennie:  That’s because your posts suck.  Mine are going to be much better.
Me:  Thanks.  I appreciate your support.
Gwennie:  You’re welcome.  Shall we continue?
Me:  If we must.
Me:  This one?
Gwennie:  Too much shadow.  Geez, Momma.  Were you even paying attention in all of those photography classes you took?
Me:  Be nice, cat!
Gwennie:  You’re awfully grumpy.  Maybe you should have a Snickers Bar.
Me:  Why?
Gwennie:  ‘Cause on T.V. when someone is grumpy his friends give him a Snickers Bar.
Me:  Oh boy.  Moving right along then, how about this one?
Gwennie:  I’m all head in this pictures.  Maybe you should get me a booster seat.
Me:  I don’t think you need one. 
Gwennie:  Sure I do.  My paws don’t even reach the table.
Me:  Your paws aren’t supposed to reach the table.  You’re a cat.  You eat in the basement.  Remember?
Gwennie:  I’m in denial.
Me:  (Sigh)  This one?
Gwennie:  That’s the picture you use for your Twitter account.  Personally I think that’s just wrong.  You should use your own face and leave me alone.
Me:  You’re cuter.
Gwennie:  That’s for sure.
Me:  Oh yeah!  I’m just feeling the love from you, kitty.
Gwennie:  You want love?  Get a dog.  You want brutal honesty?  That’s me.
Me:  One last picture and then you have to pick.
Gwennie:  (Yawn).  That’s acceptable.  We can use this one. 
Me:  Are you sure?
Gwennie:  Yes.  But when I become famous I’m going to hire a professional photographer.
Me:  You are just rude!
Gwennie:  You don’t like it, get a dog.
Me:  I just may.
Gwennie:  Momma?  You wouldn’t really get rid of me would you? I’m just a baby.
Me:  You’re lucky you’re cute.
Gwennie: I’m exquisite.
Me:  Good to know.  Is there anything else you would like me to do for you?
Gwennie:  I want a Twitter account and a Facebook Page.
Me:  Oh Boy.  I’ve created a monster.

0 Responses

  1. To Miss Lacy from Gwennie:I don't know what that means. I'm only three so sometimes you have to spell things out for me. Thank you very much for the comment. I'm gonna to finish my bath now and then find someone to supervise. I'm a cat. It's my job to supervise. I'm very good at my job.Sincerely,Gwennie

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A. Marie Smith

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