It’s the middle of the night and I understand you’re upset. But, why are you yelling at me? I didn’t pee in your diaper. Calm down! There’s no crying in baseball. You just ask that Forrest Gump fellow. First he’ll give you some mumbo jumbo about life and chocolates. Then, he’ll tell you there’s no crying in baseball.
As you get older you’ll have all kinds of reasons to cry. First it will be tantrums over candy bars, toys and bed time. Then it will be car privileges and curfews. But the most traumatic event in your life will be the day you realize that not only do you have to wipe your own butt, you also have to pay your own bills and file taxes every year. Daddy and I are still learning to cope with those two reality checks.
Now please: there’s no crying in baseball! Your diaper is clean. It’s nigh-nigh time.
Hush little baby and go to sleep.