1. If my diaper is wet or dirty I will NOT eat! If I wet or dirty myself while I’m eating, please change my diaper right away.
2. I prefer that my formula always be heated to the temperature of boob. I won’t eat it otherwise. If my formula gets cold because you were changing my diaper, you’ll have to put it back in the bottle warmer – even if it’s the middle of the night.
3. Sometimes I let Bink win the battle just so you or Daddy will come in and keep me company.
4. The ceiling fan in the kitchen is the most curious thing I’ve ever seen. How does it move? Why does it always go in circles? Can I ride on that? How will I get up there?
5. I’ve recently discovered that I can make grunting noises. Sometimes I grunt because I have to poop. Other times I grunt just because I can. The difference is, when I grunt because I’m pooping my face turns bright red.
6. I can blow bubbles with my spit. It’s fun!
7. When I’m tired you’ll know. If you’re holding me I’ll try to turn on my side and nuzzle my head up against your shoulder.
8. Sometimes I get frantic for no particular reason. When this happens, I need to be swaddled. Swaddle makes everything better.
9. Sometimes, swaddle isn’t enough. When this happens, turn the hair dryer app on. That definitely will make everything better.
10. I like girls. I like to smile at girls. I’d like to start collecting girlfriends. Grandma says there are laws about that. I think that’s very sad.