Today was an absolutely gorgeous day.  In celebration of the sun, I decided to do something different.  So, at 1pm (Eastern, if you’re curious) I got dressed and took the baby for a walk.

The Pond

Just across the street from the condominium cluster I live at, there is a duck pond – with ducks.  Geese also frequent this pond as do turtles (when I can find them).

Geese & Ducks

There is also a walking path that goes around the pond, which is ideal for the over-priced stroller I have.

The walking path.  Over-priced stroller not pictured.

So I’m walking around this pond, looking at the very green grass and I get to thinking about the movie Kingdom of the Spiders.  Have you heard of it?  It’s this 1970’s B-rated horror flick with really bad graphics.  William Shatner starred in it.

There’s this scene at the end of the movie where the entire town is at a carnival when the spiders attack.  It’s utter chaos as you see them fleeing from this army of tarantulas.

Do you see where this is going?

As I’m looking at this grass I start thinking: What if the spiders suddenly attacked while I’m at this park?  Where would the baby and I go?  Home is just a little too far away.

Climbing a tree wouldn’t work.  Those creepy little buggers would surely get us there.

I guess I would have to jump in the duck pond with the baby.  Can spiders swim?

If not, what then?  Would we just have to wait for someone to come along and spray insecticide to kill all the spiders?

What if there are alligators or crocodiles in the pond?

What if the ducks and geese try to peck us to death?

What if the insecticide kills us too?

Hmm.  Maybe next time I should take the baby to the mall for a walk.  The biggest threat there are the killer sales and the ever-annoying free-samplers who block my path as I’m trying to get to wherever I’m going.

What if the insecticide creates mutant spiders who bite people and turn them into zombies?

What if the zombies are at the mall waiting for us?

Maybe I should save that for another blog post.