Dear Diary,
Christmas is coming up and I have a dilemma. As you probably have guessed by now, I’m not always a good girl. This realization occurred to me as I sat down to write my letter to Santa Cat. Santa Cat won’t come and bring me presents unless I’ve truly been a good girl. So I decided to ask forgiveness from a higher power. This is the letter I wrote.
Dear Jesus,
My name is Gwendolynn Anne Marie Stefani Collins Silver and I’m a cat. It’s like this, Jesus, I’m not always a nice kitty. Sometimes, but not always, I can be a tad naughty. Christmas is coming up, as you’re well aware. Speaking of which, isn’t that your birthday? Are you having a party? You should? It’s not every day someone turns 350,000 years old – approximately.
Anyway, getting back to my point, Momma says that you are very forgiving and that if I ask very nicely, you’ll forgive me for being naughty. I need to be forgiven for being naughty so that Santa Cat will come and bring me presents. So here I go with my official request for forgiveness.
Jesus,
Please forgive me for being a tad naughty. I’m very sorry and I promise never to be naughty again until after Christmas.
Also, please forgive my sister, Little Missy for being so ugly. She doesn’t mean to be and I’m also very sure it’s not her intent to scare people.
Sincerely,
Gwennie
I haven’t heard back from Jesus yet; but I’m confident that he’ll forgive me because I’m very fluffy and I purr a lot – when I feel like it and it’s convenient to do so.
I hope he takes the extra step and fixes Little Missy’s face. It would be awful if after all of this, Santa Cat came and she frightened him away.
That’s all for now Diary!
This is Gwennie and I’m signing off!
