A. Marie Silver

A. Marie Silver

Diary of a Cranky Cat – Day 2

Dear Diary,

Captain Gwennie’s Log:

Star Date 1-2-3-4-5-10-9-8-7-6…..point-2 (Approximately five hours after Boy-Dadda left – if you’re human.)

There have been no signs of human life in my new house and I’m a little worried our supply of food won’t last.  So, I told Little Missy she couldn’t eat.  That went over real well.  She hit me.  But that’s okay because I hit her back and yelled at her. “You’re ugly, you’re stupid and no one likes you!”

Little Missy looked at me and asked, “Are you talking to yourself again?”

Whoa…..Little Missy had a comeback.

8 Hours After Boy-Dadda Left

Little Missy and I aren’t speaking.  Who needs her anyway?

So far my favorite part of my new home are all of the windows.  There is a long, narrow window next to the front door that doesn’t have any blinds – a very smart design.  I also like that every window has a ledge for me to perch on.  While I was perched in the living room window I observed a neighbor in my yard.  He’s a gray cat with short fur.  Oh the nerve!  He came right up to my window like he had permission or something.

“What the hell are you doing?!” I yelled.  “This is MY house!  You go away!”

He looked me square in the eye and hissed at me.

I slapped the glass with my paw and screamed, “Don’t you talk to me like that!  You like pain?  I’ll show you pain!  I’ll feed Little Missy to you!  That’ll be the worst indigestion of your life!”

Since the gray cat didn’t have the manners to properly introduce himself, I’ve named him D.A.C.  It stands for Dumb Ass Cat.  You should all remember that as I’m sure he’ll be stupid enough to cross back into my turf at some point in the future.

12 Hours After Boy-Dadda Left

My quest for finding the basement continues.  I’ve now thoroughly searched all of the cupboards looking for any switch that might open the basement door.  Surely this house has a basement.  My last house had a basement.  So this one must have one also.  Momma would never downgrade. She knows I wouldn’t like that.

Speaking of Momma – Where is she?  She probably got lost again.  She gets lost walking out to our mail box which is impressive considering it’s attached to the house.  With any luck, she’ll return with out the Little Thing.  Her obsessive need to constantly adore him is seriously starting to irritate me.

Nothing else to report.

This is Captain Gwennie:  Logging off for now.

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A. Marie Smith

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