A. Marie Silver

A. Marie Silver

Diary of a Cranky Cat – Day 3

Captain Gwennie’s Log:

Star Date 1-2-3-4-5-10-9-8-7-6….Point-3

It has been years, weeks, hours, months, days and minutes since I last had contact with human life.  The basement is still missing, only 3 kibbles remain in my dish, and Little Missy still smells worse than my poop.

She’s obviously unconcerned about our survival as she spends her time sunbathing in the windows.  I miss Momma.  I miss my puff balls.  I miss food.  Will I ever see any of them again?


3 Hours Later

I awoke from a dehydrated and nutritionally deprived state due to starvation.  A jingling sound accompanied by voices came from the other side of the front door.  Then the door slowly creaked open.  That’s when I saw them:  Boy-Dadda returned with Momma and the Little Thing.

Boy-Dadda came inside first carrying a couple of suitcases.  Momma and the Little Thing – who was complaining – entered next.

I ran right up to Boy-Dadda. “You’re in so much trouble!  FOOD! DISH! NOW!”

“Hi Gwennie,” he responded brushing past me like I was insignificant.  That was hurtful.  Now I know how Little Missy feels.

Momma was kneeling on the floor next to the door, getting the Little Thing out of his carrier.

“Momma!” I yelled. “You’re bad!  NAUGHTY! HORRIBLE! YOU! FOOD! DISH! NOW!”

“Hi fluffly baby,” she cooed.  “Momma missed her fluffywufflekins.”

“Don’t you dare try to sweet talk me, WOMAN!” I responded.

Momma placed the Little Thing on the floor.

“What the hell are you doing?” I asked.  “FOOD! DISH! NOW!”

Momma ignored me and unfastened the Little Thing’s diaper.

“Really?  Really?” I demanded.  “Are you afraid he’s going to die of diaper rash in the TWO seconds it would take you to put FOOD IN MY DISH????”


3.2 Seconds Later

Boy-Dadda put food in my dish.  Food coma here I come.

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A. Marie Smith

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